Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release
Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believin you
You don't know what I'm feelin
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
Sooo long ago
Ohh I'm free now and my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your arms
All cause you won't
Listen...
I don't know where I belong
But i'll be movin on
If you don't....
If you won't....
LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete
Oh,
Now i'm done believin you
You dont know what I'm feelin
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn...
*************************************************************
For the last 4 years I moved to the beat of YOUR song.
Now I am left alone on the dance floor like you said you would never do.
I begged, borrowed and stold.
But that didnt matter to you.
You just wanted more.
I can no longer listen.
Your song is off key.
Its no longer about us
nor even about me.
Just YOU!
Youre done believing in me?
But I am the only one who believed in you.
When all others had marked you for failure,
I sang your song.
When all others laughed at your dreams,
I encourged them on.
Now that you are acheiving them ,
you want to put me on hold and learn to be grown.
But you still want to be friends? Independence is just that.
It means YOU do it all your OWN.
Their are no redo's in life.
You have to get it right the first time around.
Now you will abandon me,
and leave me here on the cold, hard ground?
I thought always meant forever?
But I guess you meant, just for right now.
I heard you.
I just cant beleive what I am hearing now.
In life ther are tough choices,
the right answers are hard to see.
But no matter what path you take now,
it will never again lead to me.
With all my heart,
VTjr.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Listen
Thursday, May 3, 2007
It seems like
Every time I sit down at the computer-my page history has been left open.
And it's getting a wee bit old.
Particularly from someone one who claims he doesn't even GO IN the baby's room in the morning.
I'm a tad upset. I'm getting tired.It's terrifically funny, how some people "don't want to lose you" but do their damndest to drive you the fuck away.
Like I said. I'm mad. It's getting old. And like my Nina would say....."SHEESH!"
And it's getting a wee bit old.
Particularly from someone one who claims he doesn't even GO IN the baby's room in the morning.
I'm a tad upset. I'm getting tired.It's terrifically funny, how some people "don't want to lose you" but do their damndest to drive you the fuck away.
Like I said. I'm mad. It's getting old. And like my Nina would say....."SHEESH!"
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
It's Official
Trinity is OFFICIALLY POTTY TRAINED! 6 months before she turns three. We finally cemented it and put her to bed with no diaper on a couple days ago-and she hasn't worn one since! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Also-the lovely Mister Tre slept from 1030 to 6 last night! You go boy! Trin statred sleeping thru the night at 2 months-I think he's trying to beat her!
WHOOT motherfuckers!
Also-the lovely Mister Tre slept from 1030 to 6 last night! You go boy! Trin statred sleeping thru the night at 2 months-I think he's trying to beat her!
WHOOT motherfuckers!
Monday, April 2, 2007
Avery
My lil brother is spending some time with me and his nieces ad nephew during his spring break. He has just informed me that he now calls babies "towelies" b/c they just sit there moving there head around, like "i have no idea whats goin on"
lmao!
i love my siblings
lmao!
i love my siblings
mmmmmhrmmmm(rolls neck)
So yesterday some bitch nurse at the clinic was wasting my time trying to tell me my baby Liondrae all allergic to penicillin or some shit. I don't know what kind of made-up bullshit that is. She probably, like, said it just to come off all important.
Besides, who asked her to tell me what 'Drae allergic to anyway? I only brought him to the clinic 'cause that cut on his arm he got trying to climb the chain-link fence behind our apartment got all nasty and green and shit. They jabbed his arm up with penicillin to clear it up, but next morning, he got all swollen and looked funny, so I had to bring him back in, and that's when the nurse say he must be allergic. Now he have to be given special antibiotics twice a day, like I got time to fuck around with medicine.
And then they tried to blame me for the penicillin shit, like I should've known he'd have a bad reaction to it. Well, I ain't allergic to penicillin, so I know he didn't get that shit from me. Plus, if he was allergic to something for real he would have told me about it. He probably reacted crazy like that because they poked him up with all those needles, not 'cause of no antibiotic nobody asked them to squirt up in him in the first place.
People think they can teach me shit about 'Drae I don't know. They think I sit around all day and don't lift a finger. They go on about how he needs to be toilet-trained before he goes to kindergarten, but they don't give a shit that I know his favorite food is Gummi Bears, and that he loves Sean John. He also has this wooden spoon he calls Ugga that he bites on all the time, which I know is a little fucked-up but I let him do it 'cause it's important to let kids be kids.
I'm a good mom. I don't see anyone else watching that baby all damn day long and buying him Arby's.
'Cept for sometimes his older sister Rywanda watch him. She eight now and she needs some fucking responsibility if she's not going to go to school. I told her how the people from the school get on my ass when she don't go, but she can't stand second grade. I'm like, damn, I didn't start cutting class until fifth grade. I thought she'd at least get through elementary, but I can't make her do shit she don't want to do. She just like me. But if she ain't going to school no more, Rywanda's gotta stay home and watch 'Drae.
That boy better get over this shit soon, because ain't no way I'm going back to that clinic again. It took my ass near three hours to get there 'cause I have to transfer buses twice. Shit always happen when I take the kids on the bus, like that one time 'Drae got lost at the station and ended up on Channel 7, and that bitch Debra practically lived at my house for a week. If she want me to go back to that bullshit clinic, she can start giving me money for cab fare. I don't see her taking no three goddamn buses to get to her job.
It's not like I don't got enough other things to do beside drag my ass all the hell the way out there. Those clinic people are real assholes, making me get 'Drae shots for some rubella crap he ain't even got. Even with all that vaccination shit 'Drae keep getting sick anyway. If they had a vaccination against crazy-ass temper tantrums that come out of nowhere, then I'd be down with that.
These doctors think they can be the boss of you, like they know everything, but I know they are always trying to take money for stuff that just clear up on its own.
Like everybody say Rywanda had strep or some shit two months ago. But she's a strong-ass bitch like her mom, and she fought that shit off in three weeks. Never even saw a doctor. 'Drae strong, too. All that medicine and vaccination stuff just makes kids cry all the damn time. I ain't raising no weak-ass baby who's gotta live in a bubble. I saw a show about kids who are allergic to like sunlight or air or something, and their parents can't hug them or nothing because they'd, like, die. That ain't happening to 'Drae, 'cause I love my baby. Plus I'm not covering everything in my house with plastic bullshit.
'Drae'll turn like four or something soon, and he's got to learn to stay away from stuff that makes him allergic, especially if I get that night manager job at the BP. It's like, cats make my eyes all watery, so I stay the fuck away from them. I don't want to find out he got sick playing with a big-ass jar of penicillin 'cause he never learned it'll hurt him. But 'Drae smart. He'll figure it out eventually, just like he did the clothes dryer.
Besides, who asked her to tell me what 'Drae allergic to anyway? I only brought him to the clinic 'cause that cut on his arm he got trying to climb the chain-link fence behind our apartment got all nasty and green and shit. They jabbed his arm up with penicillin to clear it up, but next morning, he got all swollen and looked funny, so I had to bring him back in, and that's when the nurse say he must be allergic. Now he have to be given special antibiotics twice a day, like I got time to fuck around with medicine.
And then they tried to blame me for the penicillin shit, like I should've known he'd have a bad reaction to it. Well, I ain't allergic to penicillin, so I know he didn't get that shit from me. Plus, if he was allergic to something for real he would have told me about it. He probably reacted crazy like that because they poked him up with all those needles, not 'cause of no antibiotic nobody asked them to squirt up in him in the first place.
People think they can teach me shit about 'Drae I don't know. They think I sit around all day and don't lift a finger. They go on about how he needs to be toilet-trained before he goes to kindergarten, but they don't give a shit that I know his favorite food is Gummi Bears, and that he loves Sean John. He also has this wooden spoon he calls Ugga that he bites on all the time, which I know is a little fucked-up but I let him do it 'cause it's important to let kids be kids.
I'm a good mom. I don't see anyone else watching that baby all damn day long and buying him Arby's.
'Cept for sometimes his older sister Rywanda watch him. She eight now and she needs some fucking responsibility if she's not going to go to school. I told her how the people from the school get on my ass when she don't go, but she can't stand second grade. I'm like, damn, I didn't start cutting class until fifth grade. I thought she'd at least get through elementary, but I can't make her do shit she don't want to do. She just like me. But if she ain't going to school no more, Rywanda's gotta stay home and watch 'Drae.
That boy better get over this shit soon, because ain't no way I'm going back to that clinic again. It took my ass near three hours to get there 'cause I have to transfer buses twice. Shit always happen when I take the kids on the bus, like that one time 'Drae got lost at the station and ended up on Channel 7, and that bitch Debra practically lived at my house for a week. If she want me to go back to that bullshit clinic, she can start giving me money for cab fare. I don't see her taking no three goddamn buses to get to her job.
It's not like I don't got enough other things to do beside drag my ass all the hell the way out there. Those clinic people are real assholes, making me get 'Drae shots for some rubella crap he ain't even got. Even with all that vaccination shit 'Drae keep getting sick anyway. If they had a vaccination against crazy-ass temper tantrums that come out of nowhere, then I'd be down with that.
These doctors think they can be the boss of you, like they know everything, but I know they are always trying to take money for stuff that just clear up on its own.
Like everybody say Rywanda had strep or some shit two months ago. But she's a strong-ass bitch like her mom, and she fought that shit off in three weeks. Never even saw a doctor. 'Drae strong, too. All that medicine and vaccination stuff just makes kids cry all the damn time. I ain't raising no weak-ass baby who's gotta live in a bubble. I saw a show about kids who are allergic to like sunlight or air or something, and their parents can't hug them or nothing because they'd, like, die. That ain't happening to 'Drae, 'cause I love my baby. Plus I'm not covering everything in my house with plastic bullshit.
'Drae'll turn like four or something soon, and he's got to learn to stay away from stuff that makes him allergic, especially if I get that night manager job at the BP. It's like, cats make my eyes all watery, so I stay the fuck away from them. I don't want to find out he got sick playing with a big-ass jar of penicillin 'cause he never learned it'll hurt him. But 'Drae smart. He'll figure it out eventually, just like he did the clothes dryer.
Friday, March 23, 2007
March 23 2007
Today.
He picked today.
He picked the day I had had enough.
When I was so low on sleep I thought I would die.
When so many irritants and stresses were on my back I just wanted to crawl under the covers and spend the day sobbing.
When I had lost my will to press on through the tribulation and continue to take care of business.
...
...
My son.
My son picked TODAY
TO. SMILE.
Today he is smiling.
Smiling more than a fat kid with a big ol chocolate cake all to hisself.
More than a fiend with a rock.
More than any bride on her wedding day.
Today he is smiling more than I have in the past week.
Today he looks at me and he recognizes "MOMMY!" and his face LIGHTS UP.
And he smiles.
Yes.
I'm feeling much better now.
He picked today.
He picked the day I had had enough.
When I was so low on sleep I thought I would die.
When so many irritants and stresses were on my back I just wanted to crawl under the covers and spend the day sobbing.
When I had lost my will to press on through the tribulation and continue to take care of business.
...
...
My son.
My son picked TODAY
TO. SMILE.
Today he is smiling.
Smiling more than a fat kid with a big ol chocolate cake all to hisself.
More than a fiend with a rock.
More than any bride on her wedding day.
Today he is smiling more than I have in the past week.
Today he looks at me and he recognizes "MOMMY!" and his face LIGHTS UP.
And he smiles.
Yes.
I'm feeling much better now.
Friday, March 16, 2007
is it just me?
i'm sorry-but this nigga lloyd looks like one of them on the down-low fruity in da booty nyuckas. Trust me. I can spot em.
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