What's New, What's New.....

HI There!
I've been soooooooooo busy, soooooooo tired and I'm so sorry I haven't really kept up with returning phone calls, emails, im's or texts. Lemme get some updates in right quick.....
How bout work? I'm still at CAPS part time. I just can't quit them, they're my people, lol. I'm not at Heartland anymore tho, my time with them ended last week, cuz they're too far and gas is too much AND.....I'm finally in at Loyola. That's right, I've reached one of the highest echelons in the technician world-HOSPITAL STATUS! yEAH, BITCHES! But I hate it. Not the work, but the pharmacists are so rude and so mean and so disrespectful.....ugh. It's disgusting. Not so much to me-they tried that shit the first day-and you know I had to lay it down-MS. ASHLEY DOES NOT PLAY THAT SHIT. But it pisses me off so badly to see them treating other people badly. They told this one girl that they don't have to respect her because she's just a technician, and when she gets her degree then they'll address her with respect. That's some bulllllllll. I swear. Regardless of whatever differing levels we may be on professionally-we're both still people. And you're degree in NO WAY makes you a better person than me. I deserve the same respect I give to you simply because we are both human beings. I am neither your dog, nor your child. Don't talk to me like I am either. All the work that you REFUSE to do because you are a PharmD. and it's beneath you-well guess would who HAVE to do that if your technicians weren't around????? YOU. JAGOFF. And do you realize that your career and your license and your 100,000$ degree depend on me doing my job right-so be nice-I'm less likely to fuck something up and kill someone if I'm happy.*sigh*
Sorry for that, lol. Lil venting, But other than the people Loyola's good. Moneys real nice. It's pretty close. And it's 7 on/7 off-So thats pretty fuckin A. Cuz Van misses me and the kids miss me and now they can see me and get sick of me again, lol.
The kids are lovely as usual. Fat boy is only getting fatter. He is still his fathers clone-except for his eyes-which are STILL bright and BLUE. He's up to eating 10 ounces every 4-5 hours. WOW. Trini never ate that much. He scoots along on the floor-he's a mover. He rolls over and he LAUGHS AND SQUEALS and everytime he does my heart dances. I love my son! Trini is growing up so quickly. She's so self-sufficent, and stubborn, and strong willed. She's MY twin, lol. She is so smart and I'm so proud of her everyday. She can drive you nuts with her stubborness sometimes-but I love the fact that she's her own person. The twins are good. They are still being put through a ton of crap b/c of the greasy one. Poor babes. The beginning of this school year, Van was doing homework with them every week. Their first quarter grades were A's and B's but since this garbage popped off they've dropped all the way to D's. And clear your calendars cuz their birthday party is June 30th. We were supposed to take them somewhere-but she's still being selfish and still thinking of only herself, and like all the lawyers say "it's a control issue" so when we asked for a weekday-she bugged out talking about "her time" even tho we gave up our time so she could have them for one weekend a month and her birthday and mothersday weekend. And i ain't going to 6 flags or anywhere like it on a weekend-too crowded. So we gonna party hearty. Be there. Can't do nothing but be happy with what we got-she's not worth the energy it costs me to be negative. And I know we got a nice little saving in the Karmic bank, and that psychotic heifer is negative. She can do whatever she wants. She won't ever be able to stop them from coming over here and being happy. : )
What else.....hmmmmmm?
I got my first real diamonds on mother's day! Beautiful earrings! I only take them off when I have to go into the cleanroom-I love them so much! (Thank you baby)
We were watching Miss Universe last night on tv and during the evening gown competition Trin goes "Mommy! LOOK! THE PRINCESS!!" LOL. And then when they were down to the last five or whatever she goes "mommy. the same. look. the same." and she was right-all those girls did look the same.
I feel good. I feel great. I feel beautiful. I feel envied and desired. Two kids later and I feel like I am in better shape than I ever was. Life is hard, but God is with us, and HE helps us with every step. I am tired, but I am happy and the future holds so much more happiness for us (who cares if it doesn't hold any rest for me, lol) I'm excited and positive. Thats what's new. I am HAPPY. And I am POSITIVE. Cuz I know things will not only be just fine-they will be GREAT.

Hey! And I'm not pregnant anymore. I can go out and stuff, so hit me up. I miss my people. And I can have some fun once in a while. It's ok.

Not Gonna Do it.....NOT Gon' do it

I'm not gonna stay. I'm just not. Loyola is a pisshole full of pissheads ad I am NOT gonna stay. I don't care that gas is about to be 4 dollars a gallon and it's only 14 minutes away from my house. I DON'T CARE that it's a 7on/7 off schedule. I don't care that its one of the top hospitals in the country with inly the most advanced shiit. I DONT that it aysover 30 grand a year. I DON'T CARE I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT AND I WILL NOT DO IT. FUCKING ASSHOLES.

Listen

Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete

Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release

Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believin you
You don't know what I'm feelin
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
Sooo long ago

Ohh I'm free now and my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your arms
All cause you won't
Listen...



I don't know where I belong
But i'll be movin on
If you don't....
If you won't....

LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now i'm done believin you
You dont know what I'm feelin
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn...
*************************************************************
For the last 4 years I moved to the beat of YOUR song.
Now I am left alone on the dance floor like you said you would never do.
 I begged, borrowed and stold.
But that didnt matter to you.

You just wanted more.

I can no longer listen.
Your song is off key.
Its no longer about us
nor even about me.

Just YOU!

Youre done believing in me?
But I am the only one who believed in you.
When all others had marked you for failure,
I sang your song.
When all others laughed at your dreams,
I encourged them on.
Now that you are acheiving them ,
you want to put me on hold and learn to be grown.
But you still want to be friends? Independence is just that.
It means YOU do it all your OWN.

Their are no redo's in life.
You have to get it right the first time around.
Now you will abandon me,
and leave me here on the cold, hard ground?

I thought always meant forever?
But I guess you meant, just for right now.
I heard you.
I just cant beleive what I am hearing now.

In life ther are tough choices,
the right answers are hard to see.
But no matter what path you take now,
it will never again lead to me.

With all my heart,
VTjr.

It seems like

Every time I sit down at the computer-my page history has been left open.
And it's getting a wee bit old.
Particularly from someone one who claims he doesn't even GO IN the baby's room in the morning.
I'm a tad upset. I'm getting tired.It's terrifically funny, how some people "don't want to lose you" but do their damndest to drive you the fuck away.
Like I said. I'm mad. It's getting old. And like my Nina would say....."SHEESH!"

It's Official

Trinity is OFFICIALLY POTTY TRAINED! 6 months before she turns three. We finally cemented it and put her to bed with no diaper on a couple days ago-and she hasn't worn one since! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Also-the lovely Mister Tre slept from 1030 to 6 last night! You go boy! Trin statred sleeping thru the night at 2 months-I think he's trying to beat her!
WHOOT motherfuckers!

Avery

My lil brother is spending some time with me and his nieces ad nephew during his spring break. He has just informed me that he now calls babies "towelies" b/c they just sit there moving there head around, like "i have no idea whats goin on"

lmao!
i love my siblings

mmmmmhrmmmm(rolls neck)

So yesterday some bitch nurse at the clinic was wasting my time trying to tell me my baby Liondrae all allergic to penicillin or some shit. I don't know what kind of made-up bullshit that is. She probably, like, said it just to come off all important.
Besides, who asked her to tell me what 'Drae allergic to anyway? I only brought him to the clinic 'cause that cut on his arm he got trying to climb the chain-link fence behind our apartment got all nasty and green and shit. They jabbed his arm up with penicillin to clear it up, but next morning, he got all swollen and looked funny, so I had to bring him back in, and that's when the nurse say he must be allergic. Now he have to be given special antibiotics twice a day, like I got time to fuck around with medicine.
And then they tried to blame me for the penicillin shit, like I should've known he'd have a bad reaction to it. Well, I ain't allergic to penicillin, so I know he didn't get that shit from me. Plus, if he was allergic to something for real he would have told me about it. He probably reacted crazy like that because they poked him up with all those needles, not 'cause of no antibiotic nobody asked them to squirt up in him in the first place.
People think they can teach me shit about 'Drae I don't know. They think I sit around all day and don't lift a finger. They go on about how he needs to be toilet-trained before he goes to kindergarten, but they don't give a shit that I know his favorite food is Gummi Bears, and that he loves Sean John. He also has this wooden spoon he calls Ugga that he bites on all the time, which I know is a little fucked-up but I let him do it 'cause it's important to let kids be kids.
I'm a good mom. I don't see anyone else watching that baby all damn day long and buying him Arby's.
'Cept for sometimes his older sister Rywanda watch him. She eight now and she needs some fucking responsibility if she's not going to go to school. I told her how the people from the school get on my ass when she don't go, but she can't stand second grade. I'm like, damn, I didn't start cutting class until fifth grade. I thought she'd at least get through elementary, but I can't make her do shit she don't want to do. She just like me. But if she ain't going to school no more, Rywanda's gotta stay home and watch 'Drae.
That boy better get over this shit soon, because ain't no way I'm going back to that clinic again. It took my ass near three hours to get there 'cause I have to transfer buses twice. Shit always happen when I take the kids on the bus, like that one time 'Drae got lost at the station and ended up on Channel 7, and that bitch Debra practically lived at my house for a week. If she want me to go back to that bullshit clinic, she can start giving me money for cab fare. I don't see her taking no three goddamn buses to get to her job.
It's not like I don't got enough other things to do beside drag my ass all the hell the way out there. Those clinic people are real assholes, making me get 'Drae shots for some rubella crap he ain't even got. Even with all that vaccination shit 'Drae keep getting sick anyway. If they had a vaccination against crazy-ass temper tantrums that come out of nowhere, then I'd be down with that.
These doctors think they can be the boss of you, like they know everything, but I know they are always trying to take money for stuff that just clear up on its own.
Like everybody say Rywanda had strep or some shit two months ago. But she's a strong-ass bitch like her mom, and she fought that shit off in three weeks. Never even saw a doctor. 'Drae strong, too. All that medicine and vaccination stuff just makes kids cry all the damn time. I ain't raising no weak-ass baby who's gotta live in a bubble. I saw a show about kids who are allergic to like sunlight or air or something, and their parents can't hug them or nothing because they'd, like, die. That ain't happening to 'Drae, 'cause I love my baby. Plus I'm not covering everything in my house with plastic bullshit.
'Drae'll turn like four or something soon, and he's got to learn to stay away from stuff that makes him allergic, especially if I get that night manager job at the BP. It's like, cats make my eyes all watery, so I stay the fuck away from them. I don't want to find out he got sick playing with a big-ass jar of penicillin 'cause he never learned it'll hurt him. But 'Drae smart. He'll figure it out eventually, just like he did the clothes dryer.