Life is a beautiful struggle...I wouldn't change a thing.....This how I see it.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


husband laid off. has multiple felony convictions. cannot get good work. four kids. two under 5. two ungrateful step kids w/ crazy, corrupting mother. family, does not help. does not care. more trouble than dealing with them is worth. crazy responsibilities and unrealistic expectations placed upon me at work. never work a week of only 40 hours. binge drink. binge eat. weight problem. family history of alcoholism. depression. mania. add. bi-polar disorder. schizophrenia. diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder with sociopathic tendencies at 17. Not yet 24 years old and cannot cry out for help. to many people judging.people have been watching me keep these balls in the air for years. waiting for me to drop one. waiting for one flaw. one crack. so they can exploit it. i tell everyone i'm not perfect. all the time. nobody believes me. ever. they have to see it. have to watch me fall face first into a pile of my own shit. i'm tired of keeping up appearances. is it really worth it? somebody help me. please.

No comments: