Life is a beautiful struggle...I wouldn't change a thing.....This how I see it.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

bm drama continues

Well....the saga continues. Since wednesday le heifer has had the twins call practically everyday asking v for his "answer". But she won't ask herself. She's too busy trying to pretend it doesn't matter to her. But this is hardly is a bother to me or van. This actually a total PERK! B/C normally we can never get her to answer or return our calls when we call to say hi cuz we miss our babies-but now she's having THEM call US! And like, on friday they called van and told him to "write down his answer on a piece of paper" (yeah-i'm totally sure they came up with that one on their own, mmmmm-hmmmm) he just steered the conversation to their assembly that morning that I went to(yes-even after working all night I was there-and the cow had the day off yet was not in attendance)and each time they call they ask about his answer and we just talk about them and how they are and what they're doing. So while I do wish she'd quit fucking with them and pushing them to try and fix what she fucked up-it's so great to hear from my little luv-a-bulls so often!

nobody looks like me....

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried

Well. The bm drama has once again come to a head. As I previously posted-we didn't have the twins for easter this year for the first time. We repeatly asked the heifer to give us sunday in exchange for another day and because we're doing her a favor by giving her one of our days in june for her pos brothers wedding. But she claimed she wanted to spend easter with them and have her own egg hunt yadda-blah-woowoowoo. But come sunday we tried to get in touch with the girls all day-and got no response until 430 which is, surprise, the time she makes it home from work. So we knew she was on some lies and bs. But we got confirmation when we got the kids yesterday and they told us she was at work and told them not to tell v and they didn't have no easter egg hunt or baskets they just sat around and watched old 'ricans play dominoes. They said "quotely" they said easter at their moms house "sucked". So v confronts her on the bs when she rolls up to scoop them. She denies it, of course. She only went to work to get a notebook and then she had to go to the store and she was only gone "3 hours". Whatever. Not that any of her lies are ever good-but this was one of the LAMEST. THEN she has the gall to call HIM uncooperative for some week during the summer we claimed but she wanted. He told her it was his year to pick his summer weeks-next year she can choose and he can't say shit. She gets all jazzy at the mouth and so points out that he didn't have to agree to give her the day for the wedding and she's all flip like "whatever verlander, just let me know and I'll cancel everything." So he goes "ok. You've been notified." And walks off. Not five minutes later he gets a text like"the girls want to know if they are going to get to be in the wedding" he texts back "they know my number" and chaos fucking ensues.
She has them calling repeatedly asking if they can go and why can't they go and they already got the dresses and the really want to go and YOU CAN HEAR HER IN THE BACKGROUND COACHING EVERY WORD! When he finally says he'll think about it-she calls saying she needs to know right now. And he tells her the same thing. So then she puts nina on the phone telling him that her mom needs to know today if their going to be in the wedding. He tells her he'll THINK about it. Then they call telling how their mom is mad at them for NOT LYING to him about easter. She's not speaking to them and she's never buying them anything again and their punished and could be please (lie for them) tell her that they didn't tell him. that he already knew. He told them they shouldn't be in trouble for telling the truth and this isn't his fault or theirs-it's HERS for lying and teaching them to. He told them he loved them and to call anytime. We think it's done.
No.
Wrong.
Not over.
20 minutes later they call back and tell him that they can't eat until he gives her an answer about the wedding. THIS SICK.SICK.SICK. BITCH! WHO DOES THAT!?!?!?!?!
She finds new and inventive ways to broadcast her insanity almost DAILY.
So he tells them he gave her her answer already and when he calls back like a half hour later they had eaten. Thank god.

O. But wait. There's more. We're transferring them to another school. And she alledgedly had the paperwork and has known for WEEKS that they need to be registered by the 28th. Monday van got a call from the new school saying they hadn't been registered yet. Today he went and did all the paperwork and registered them. And my tired ass was up there too after working all night-and van is sick as a dog-but we got is done. So when he tells her that he registered them today-she actually tells him"WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO GO REGISTER THEM!!?!? I'M THEIR MOTHER!" the nerve the absolute GALL. WHAT KIND OF MOTHER USES HER KIDS AS PAWNS TO GET HER WAY????
Ugh.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter

Well, friends-wishing you all a wonderful holiday. HE IS RISEN! REJOICE!
Hope you all celebrated with your loved ones. Our easter was damn good. We went up to wisconsin to grandmas and woulda been on time for like the first time ever(!) except for the fact that trin had to pee. dammit. but we were only 20 minuets late. and ALL of my siblings actually came, usually one or two are missing for one reason or another, you know how teenagers are. My dad was nice-he was pimping his new cell phone, which believe it or not-DOESN’T have camera. who makes such garbage anymore????? Everybody em=njoyed the boy. And my great aunt pie called my daughter BRILLIANT, which actually means something because aunt pie doesn’t bullshit with anybody. She’s 74-she’s been around a long time. And has been a nun and teacher for most of them-so she knows brilliance when she sees it. She’s amazing herself. She could be forty by looks. She could beat me in a footrace and she is sharp as a tack.
Uncle t-leaf was there and he built a snowman with the kids. ok. He built a snowman and the kids watched. My 2 year old cousin (yes i have a cousin younger than my offspring) spit on trin and smacked her in the face. Nice? Yeah. The white kids behave so much better than us darkies, right???? um....how bout no?
But yeah-all in all-good easter. Good food. Good stories. Good time. Stupid heifer wouldn’t let us have the twins-but she was truly depriving them and not us. And it’s really sad cuz all my family brought gifts and toys and baskets for them and them missed it. She claimed she wanted to do her first easter with them-but she didn’t make it home until like 4. I don’t know if she was at work or with her dip. (yes-front street bitch-you are here) Cuz she’s totalliny having an affair-AGAIN. And don’t ask me how I know when I live with the man that’s been thru it all before and knows all the signs. All I know is we give her chance after chance to DO right and BE right and she just keeps on with the bullshit and lies. And even though Van has already told her she can have the girls for her brothers wedding-i knowhim and i know if this bullshit keeps up he’s gonna get fed up and cut that shit short. and yes, people it is TOTALLY in our power to do that-THANK YOU LORD! But yeah-they missed out on alot to sit home with the nigga their mom is cheating on all day-and i find that really unfair and sad.
And on the note of her heiferness-i’ve dyed my hair again. No more blondilocks. Why? b/c she dyed her shit JUST LIKE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i don’t care how much flattery is imitation and it doesn’t matter how much better it looks on me (and of course it does b/c she is just far to pale to carry it like i do) i just couldn’t have it. it genuinely bothered me. so bye-bye blonde-HELLO ??????. Guess you’ll just have to wait and see. lol.
aight guys-time for "i am legend" enjoy your holiday.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Maddness

ALTON, Ill. - Banished to the basement, the 29-year-old mother with a childlike mind and another baby on the way had little more than a thin rug and a mattress to call her own on the chilly concrete floor.

Dorothy Dixon ate what she could forage from the refrigerator upstairs, where prosecutors say housemates used her for target practice with BBs, burned her with a glue gun and doused her with scalding liquid that peeled away her skin.

They torched what few clothes she had, authorities say, so she walked around naked. They often pummeled her with an aluminum bat or metal handle.

Dixon — six months pregnant — died after weeks of abuse. Police have charged two adults, three teenagers and a 12-year-old boy with murder in the case that has repulsed many in this Mississippi River town.

"This is heartbreaking," police Lt. David Hayes said. "It was almost as though they were making fun of the abuse they were administering. This woman was almost like living in a prison."

Investigators put much of the blame on Michelle Riley, 35, who they said befriended Dixon but pocketed monthly Social Security checks she got because of her developmental delays.

Dixon saw little, if any, of the money, Hayes said. For months she weathered the torment to keep a roof over her head and that of her year-old son, who weighed just 15 pounds when taken into state custody after his mom’s death.

"I’ve never seen an almost conspiratorial effort by a group of people to continuously torture someone until she finally died, then not really show any remorse," Hayes said. "It was just a slow, torturous, tragic way to die. I highly doubt Dorothy Dixon even knew she was dying."

Riley, 43-year-old Judy Woods and three teenagers, including Riley’s 15-year-old daughter, LeShelle McBride, are charged with first-degree murder, aggravated and heinous battery, intentional homicide of an unborn child, and unlawful restraint. Riley’s 12-year-old son is charged as a juvenile.

Riley, her daughter, Woods and 16-year-old Benny Wilson have public defenders who did not immediately return messages for comment. An 18-year-old defendant, Michael Elliott, planned to get his own attorney, court records show.

All remain in jail on $1 million bond.

Messages left with a Chicago-area sister of Dixon went unreturned, but neighbors, Hayes and newspaper accounts offer a mosaic of the months leading to Dixon’s demise inside the small, white, blue-shuttered house.

Riley and Dixon, police said, had lived in Quincy, a Mississippi River town about 100 miles north of St. Louis, Mo. Quincy is where Riley worked as a coordinator for a regional center that helps the developmentally disabled with housing and other services. Dixon was a client.

For years, an impoverished Riley struggled raising her children. Her use of methamphetamine and cocaine brought drug convictions in 2002 and 2004. But with treatment and housing help from the Quincy YWCA, Riley put her life in order — so much that in February of last year, the Quincy Herald-Whig did a story on her comeback.

Last summer, Dixon and Riley moved into the $800-a-month, three-bedroom rental in Alton about 15 miles north of St. Louis. From the start, neighbors Chad Hudson and Terri Brandt considered Riley trouble.

"Michelle was evil, vindictive. Manipulative," said Hudson, convinced the teenagers were Riley’s powerless minions.

"She was angry, vicious," added Brandt.

Riley considered Dixon her slave, making her rub Riley’s feet until Riley fell asleep and forcing her to run naked around the house when she got in trouble, the neighbors said.

"Being in their house was like being in a prison day room," Hudson said. "They just sat around the kitchen table and fought."

There was little question that Riley ruled the roost.

While doing fix-ups on the home last fall, landlord Steve Atkins saw Riley "barking orders" at the children and everyone else. Atkins joked to her whether he needed to call the Army and see if they wanted their drill sergeant back.

"She didn’t laugh about it at all," Atkins said. "Obviously, I hit a nerve."

Atkins said Dixon generally kept to herself "but was always nice when she spoke to you." He saw no hints she’d been suffering or tortured.

"I would have never, ever suspected something like this," he said. "It’s definitely shocking."

Police said Dixon was allowed out of the house but didn’t say under what conditions. Hayes didn’t know who the father of Dixon’s fetus is.

Hayes said things apparently came to a head Jan. 30, when investigators believe that Woods, during a dispute, beat Dixon on the head with an object Hayes wouldn’t identify. The next day Woods found her dead.

Hayes watched the autopsy and found her injuries disturbing. X-rays revealed roughly 30 BBs lodged in her. Deep-tissue burns covered about one-third of her body — her face, her chest, her arms and feet — and left her severely dehydrated. Her face and body showed signs of prolonged abuse. Many of her wounds were infected.

None of the injuries, Hayes said, proved singly fatal to Dixon. Her system already was taxed by her unborn baby.

"The autopsy sort of indicates her immune system just shut down," he said. "It was not capable of fending off any more."

In the rental home’s basement, Atkins said, he found spots of blood in a shower and tiny smears on the concrete floor, washer and dryer.

"It’s disgraceful the way this girl died, as kind and as sweet as this girl was," he said. "She didn’t deserve to die the way she did. It’s just terrible, senseless. It’s just a total shame."


Thursday, March 13, 2008

[shiver]

omg.
people.
have you freaking heard the studio cut of fob and john mayer doing a cover of mj’s "beat it"?
holy shit.
patrick has GOT to be one of the most talent musicians of our time. the boy can play the hell outta a wooden spoon-it doesn’t matter wtf it is he can play it.
and he can FUCKING SANG! (yes-i said "sang"-w00t)
if "infinity on high" didn’t prove it to you this will. listen to him FUCKING WAIL at about 3:14 into the song. omg. and john mayer is working the hell outta the guitar-i gotta tell you-i’ve listened to it like 50 times and i still get goosebumps when starts with that solo. damn.
so---for your listening pleasure:





tell your ears i said "you’re welcome"

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

fuck mean. that's abhorrent....

i hate animal cruelty. i absolutely deplore it. and this...this made me cry.






why? just why?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

If you felt what i felt you’d just.....well, you just die

It's well-known that varying male and female sexual response has a very close association with the brain.

As is commonly know, the brain is divided into two hemispheres, the "right brain" and the "left brain". The right side of the brain controls hand and eye functions, while the left is in charge of speech. When the left side of the brain receives a large dose of male hormones, its functionality declines. That's why men can't chat away madly during sex. All they can do is keep on moving their bodies. On the other hand, for women, where the left brain takes priority, they can speak and well as let their voice ring out. When women try and get their men to spend a little time whispering sweet nothings to them while making love, they may literally be asking for the impossible.

Differences in male and female sexual response are influenced by the arousal nerves, one of which is the sexual polarization nucleus, located in the brain's hypothalamus. The sexual polarization nucleus in men is double the size that of women. Perhaps the male ability to become easily aroused through stimulation of the senses of sight and smell compared to the woman's need to be touched may have something to do with the different way their brains are structured. While men can become pleased rapidly, they also cool down quickly, which sometimes leads to them feeling uncomfortable at being touched after ejaculation. It's a major difference to women, who gradually cool down after orgasm.

Ryuichi Kaneko, one of my co-authors in the book "Sekkusu no Subete ga Wakaru Hon (All About Sex," wrote about how the brain affects male and female orgasm. Kaneko wrote how watching pornography shows a clear difference between male and female response. He pointed out the results of an experiment where men and women were shown a pornographic movie and their arousal level differed. Women who knew in advance that they were going to be shown a blue movie were aroused in advance, but changed little on seeing the film. Men showed little response when told they were going to watch a pornographic movie, but became aroused quickly once the action started on screen.

The mental side of sex is clearly more important for women than men, while males have a stronger need for the immediacy symbolized by the erection.

Brain waves also display these differences. Frequencies measured during scientific tests of orgasms show theta waves of 6 to 7 Hertz. This is about the same level as marathoners enjoying a "runners' high." If theta waves are to be the measuring stick of pleasure, a woman's brain at the time of orgasm is filled with them across its entirety and the period when theta waves are active in women's brain is almost 10 times more than for a man. Judging by theta waves at the time of orgasm, women experience a pleasure incomparable to that felt by men.

Putting it crudely, were a man to experience an orgasm like a woman's, the shock to his brain could kill him. Of course, no man has ever experienced that, naturally, because men can never be women. However, as my co-author Kaneko points out, there are transgendered people (those whose bodies are male but brains female or bodies female and brains male) who have undergone gender transformation surgery who have spoken about the incredible pleasure they have gained from sex as women.

Neither men nor women can ever truly know what sex feels like for the opposite gender. Perhaps that means when they ask each other if something feels good or not, they're actually imagining what it would be like for the other sex so they can help themselves get aroused. (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)