I'm sitting here realizing I'll never have MY four. Gramdawg had four. my ma had four. but there's four here already and one more would just be too much. and it's just now hitting me. in the heat and noise of the house. in the sorry state of things and the recession. she's already taken so much from me and now she takes my four. she takes my legacy. those two are mine-but they're not. I'll always have to share them and I'll always be extra. I'll always be a spare. I'll always be "ommy"(Other Mommy) rather than just plain mommy. I WANT MY FOUR. and to have MY Two BONUS BABIES. they should be MY EXTRA. instead I'm tapped and because of them....the next two can't come. it's too much. and it would be so selfish to ignore that.