Omfg my head. Went out with jen last night. Had fun.
Too much fun-oh-my effing head.
I haven't hurled off some liquor in a very long time.....but j seems to always bring that outta me...
Vans so awesome tho. He took such good care of me. He always does. How'd I get so lucky?
Ugh. My head.
Love you babe.
Love you j.
Btw-saw j in a dress for the first time in SEVEN YEARS. HAWT. Effing hawt.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
buck flagojevich
Guilty Until Proven Innocent: A Recurring Story
May 20th, 2008 by Ned Holstein, MD, MS
Springfield, IL—The Belleville News-Democrat in Illinois reports that the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) "wrongly placed more than 3,000 people on the State's official list of child abusers over a five year period…"
Why should the family court reform movement care about what happens to child abusers? After all, a lot of these parents are less-then-perfect, and they probably did something wrong, you say.
The reason we care is that non-custodial parents are often up against the same problems as men and women falsely accused of child abuse: arrogant, self-righteous government officials who have been given too much power and are accountable to no one.
Listen to the complaints of the victims and their attorneys and you will hear a familiar echo.
Nick Brunstein, one falsely accused foster parent said of child abuse investigators, "…the bad ones have the power of God and with the stroke of a pen they can ruin your life." Sounds pretty much like a GAL or a family court judge doesn't it?
Diane Redleaf, executive director of the non-profit Family Defense Center in Chicago said, "We see so many cases where the basic rules are being ignored completely by the state investigators." This too has a familiar ring.
Chicago attorney Robert Lehrer said, "They [the accused parents] can't afford a lawyer and don't believe they have a chance." So most give up and back down. Sound familiar?
Although Brunstein and his wife eventually won in court, he said, "Our savings are wiped out, and our caseworker who wanted to take our foster kids and hurt us did exactly that. No one at DCFS will be held accountable." Hundreds of our members could say the same thing about family court.
What is the attitude of the DCFS when confronted with over 3,000 mistakes they made? Spokesman Kendall Marlowe "acknowledged that mistakes are made, but he said the vast majority of people… were placed there properly… he declined further comment."
The DCFS chief administrative law judge Meryl Paniak said "A lot of what happens at these hearings is it becomes a legal process, not… whether it happened or not, but whether enough evidence is presented."
Not a hint of apology, not a whiff of promise to a better job. In one word, arrogant.
DCFS hearings are closed to the public. They admit hearsay evidence. The decisions of their judges are not open to the public. They cannot be sued for mistakes, even when the mistakes are egregious, or downright malicious. The legal standard to which they are held is ridiculously low: the DCFS makes its decisions based only on "credible evidence." In other words, the judges can do pretty much whatever they feel like.
Basically, they are secret courts. Secret courts breed corruption no matter how lofty their reasons sound for being secret. The secret legal proceedings at Guantanamo have caused an uproar, but where is the uproar over the hundreds of thousands of secret proceedings in family court and in child abuse cases?
Sooner or later, this movement is going to have to take on the widespread abuses of the child protective services.
May 20th, 2008 by Ned Holstein, MD, MS
Springfield, IL—The Belleville News-Democrat in Illinois reports that the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) "wrongly placed more than 3,000 people on the State's official list of child abusers over a five year period…"
Why should the family court reform movement care about what happens to child abusers? After all, a lot of these parents are less-then-perfect, and they probably did something wrong, you say.
The reason we care is that non-custodial parents are often up against the same problems as men and women falsely accused of child abuse: arrogant, self-righteous government officials who have been given too much power and are accountable to no one.
Listen to the complaints of the victims and their attorneys and you will hear a familiar echo.
Nick Brunstein, one falsely accused foster parent said of child abuse investigators, "…the bad ones have the power of God and with the stroke of a pen they can ruin your life." Sounds pretty much like a GAL or a family court judge doesn't it?
Diane Redleaf, executive director of the non-profit Family Defense Center in Chicago said, "We see so many cases where the basic rules are being ignored completely by the state investigators." This too has a familiar ring.
Chicago attorney Robert Lehrer said, "They [the accused parents] can't afford a lawyer and don't believe they have a chance." So most give up and back down. Sound familiar?
Although Brunstein and his wife eventually won in court, he said, "Our savings are wiped out, and our caseworker who wanted to take our foster kids and hurt us did exactly that. No one at DCFS will be held accountable." Hundreds of our members could say the same thing about family court.
What is the attitude of the DCFS when confronted with over 3,000 mistakes they made? Spokesman Kendall Marlowe "acknowledged that mistakes are made, but he said the vast majority of people… were placed there properly… he declined further comment."
The DCFS chief administrative law judge Meryl Paniak said "A lot of what happens at these hearings is it becomes a legal process, not… whether it happened or not, but whether enough evidence is presented."
Not a hint of apology, not a whiff of promise to a better job. In one word, arrogant.
DCFS hearings are closed to the public. They admit hearsay evidence. The decisions of their judges are not open to the public. They cannot be sued for mistakes, even when the mistakes are egregious, or downright malicious. The legal standard to which they are held is ridiculously low: the DCFS makes its decisions based only on "credible evidence." In other words, the judges can do pretty much whatever they feel like.
Basically, they are secret courts. Secret courts breed corruption no matter how lofty their reasons sound for being secret. The secret legal proceedings at Guantanamo have caused an uproar, but where is the uproar over the hundreds of thousands of secret proceedings in family court and in child abuse cases?
Sooner or later, this movement is going to have to take on the widespread abuses of the child protective services.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Dear God
Dear God,
Thank you for microwaves, toaster ovens, slow cookers, toasters, convection ovens, rice cookers, coffee makers, and all other appliances that enable meal preparation without the use of natural gas.
And thank you for electricity.
Forever and ever,
Amen
Thank you for microwaves, toaster ovens, slow cookers, toasters, convection ovens, rice cookers, coffee makers, and all other appliances that enable meal preparation without the use of natural gas.
And thank you for electricity.
Forever and ever,
Amen
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
My Mothers Day
is AWESOME! I went out with Van and had a REALLY great time last night. I don't know what organs he sold or who he slept with to pay for that dinner but IT WAS AMAZING!
Of course we hit the liquor store afterwards-even though he was paying and told me not to sweat it-there was no way in hell I was ordering another 10 dollar martini. I'm just not that kinda girl ; )~
We went to go see mymommy. And my little brother-whom i have raised as well. And my baby sister made me a BEAUTIFUL CARD! OMG! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!
This morning I was surprised (ambushed!)by van and all the girls. I got breakfast in bed, perfumes, lip gloss, crowns, rings, bracelets, and even scepters! And lovely cards. Jessie really choked me up cuz you could tell she put some thought behind her words. It wasn't your standard "happy mothers day, love you" spiel-it was genuine and beautiful. My babies know all my favorite colors and even my favorite scents!
What means the most is being acknowledged. By my husband, by my sister, by my babies.....I've been taking care of other people my whole life-and i do things because they need to be done. But it's so nice to be NOTICED and SEEN and RECOGNIZED - even if it's only for one day.
Enough of my talking. I'll just show you my joy.
Happy Mother's Day to All!
I hope yours is as wonderful as mine!
Of course we hit the liquor store afterwards-even though he was paying and told me not to sweat it-there was no way in hell I was ordering another 10 dollar martini. I'm just not that kinda girl ; )~
We went to go see mymommy. And my little brother-whom i have raised as well. And my baby sister made me a BEAUTIFUL CARD! OMG! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!
This morning I was surprised (ambushed!)by van and all the girls. I got breakfast in bed, perfumes, lip gloss, crowns, rings, bracelets, and even scepters! And lovely cards. Jessie really choked me up cuz you could tell she put some thought behind her words. It wasn't your standard "happy mothers day, love you" spiel-it was genuine and beautiful. My babies know all my favorite colors and even my favorite scents!
What means the most is being acknowledged. By my husband, by my sister, by my babies.....I've been taking care of other people my whole life-and i do things because they need to be done. But it's so nice to be NOTICED and SEEN and RECOGNIZED - even if it's only for one day.
Enough of my talking. I'll just show you my joy.
Happy Mother's Day to All!
I hope yours is as wonderful as mine!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
dying!!
Van has some top secret surprise plans for me today and I can't figure out what they are! He has thwarted all my secret cracking techniques thus far and I'm DYING! I wanna know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
ok fuckers
everybody that was FOREVER complaining my page took hours to freakin load and it made your crappy pc's crash-i hope you're happy-cuz you should no longer have that problem. i'm still tryna sort this whole "flash" thing out so it's not perfectly the way i want it yet-but it'll get there. and hopefully-it won't take you 45 minutes to load my page anymore. you know what this means don't you? I EXPECT MORE COMMENTS! b/c now there is no excuse. nyah.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
corporal punishment
I am all for corporal punishment. I am emphatically and totally for coporal punishment. Most issues-like, religion, race, politics-pretty much any lifestyle issue-I'm tolerant of. Whatever you do-you do. That's you. I'm me and you're you and thats cool.
But when your offspring behaves like an uncontrollable little asshole-i have a problem with that-b/c it affects my well-behaved offspring.
The latest clinial ivestigations into the human brain show that most people, the average persons brain isn't fully matured and developed into well into their 20's. Not 16. Not 18. Not 21. We're talking 26. And children-having the underdevolped minds that they do have no concept of guilt, responsibilty, honor, or respect. So you can't tell your child-I'm dissapointted in you and expect their behavior to change. It just doesn't work. And alternate discipline stratigies like time-outs or taking priviligies away just cannot compare to the healthy FEAR of a good spanking. "ooooooooh NO-i don't WANT my child to fear me. i want to be their FRIEND." cry me a fucking river. guess what? fear is natural. fear is healthy. fear keeps us SAFE. Whats a better reason to drive slower on a steep curve? What motivates you more? The fact that if you don't obey the posted speed you might get a ticket and be out some of your money? Lose your clubbing or cable money and therefore priviliges for the month? OR THE FACT THAT YOU COULD LOSE CONTROL AND CRASH? AND IT WOULD HURT. REALLY REALLY BAD. YOU COULD DIE. Which are you more "afraid" of? Like i said-fear keeps us healthy. Fear keeps us alive. Pain keeps us alive. We don't frolick in fire and swallow glass and jump off buildings because it WOULD FUCKING HURT. And that fear of that pain keeps us from doing stupid shit.
Fear of a spanking keeps my kids from doing stupid shit. They don't play with the stove cuz they'll get a spanking.(thus saving my house and my life) they don't touch things that aren't theirs w/o permission b/c of fear. (thus saving me the costly expense of replacing a phone or ipod, or computer b/c an irresponsible child broke it) they don't stink. they remember to wipe their asses. brush their teeth. pick up after themselves. they don't throw tantrums or argue with me, privately or publicy because of fear.
trin has been FULLY potty-trained-i mean no pull-ups, no diapers just at bedtime, nothing. since the boy was born. how old was she? 29 months. less than two and a half. not because she wasnted to-but because i stayed on her ass. and whens she had an accident-i was forgiving and understanding-but when she pissed herself out of distraction, laziness, or defiance-she got a spanking.
And i'm sorry if i'm coming off harsh to you. but it's effective. it works. she's not emotionally damaged or more prone to violence. she is respectful and obedient and i don't have to bargain or barter with my child. there is no discussion. i speak and it is done.
i was just reading not too long ago about this private school in illinois. there was a 6 year old boy who was a fucking terror. he wouldn't listen to the teacher. at all. and it went on for a while. and finally the school told his mom-either you come down here and spank this child or he is no longer welcome here. the mom said no. she doesn't hit her child. oh well. now he's expelled. and she's a fucking martyr. except for the fact that he's now in a public school where he can't be expelled and they CAN'T force her to discipline her son and his new teacher is gonna spend ALL of her time distracted chasing this hellion child around while my child is ignored and not getting the education and attention she deserves because this woman "doesn't hit her child". See how this shit effects me?
And please. please. please.
understand the difference between discipline an abuse.
I have never. Bruised or marked my children. Never. Sadistic assholes corrupt the concept of corporal punishment. They hit-not to TEACH. Not as punishment or reprecusssion but out of ANGER. Anger of being inconvienienced or surprised. Or just becuse their own lives are unfulfilled and they need to take out the dissapointment and frustration of being failures SOMEWHERE and have control over SOMETHING. I do not, nor have i or will i EVER ABUSE MY CHILDREN.
But i will DAMN SURE WHOOP SOME ASS!
But when your offspring behaves like an uncontrollable little asshole-i have a problem with that-b/c it affects my well-behaved offspring.
The latest clinial ivestigations into the human brain show that most people, the average persons brain isn't fully matured and developed into well into their 20's. Not 16. Not 18. Not 21. We're talking 26. And children-having the underdevolped minds that they do have no concept of guilt, responsibilty, honor, or respect. So you can't tell your child-I'm dissapointted in you and expect their behavior to change. It just doesn't work. And alternate discipline stratigies like time-outs or taking priviligies away just cannot compare to the healthy FEAR of a good spanking. "ooooooooh NO-i don't WANT my child to fear me. i want to be their FRIEND." cry me a fucking river. guess what? fear is natural. fear is healthy. fear keeps us SAFE. Whats a better reason to drive slower on a steep curve? What motivates you more? The fact that if you don't obey the posted speed you might get a ticket and be out some of your money? Lose your clubbing or cable money and therefore priviliges for the month? OR THE FACT THAT YOU COULD LOSE CONTROL AND CRASH? AND IT WOULD HURT. REALLY REALLY BAD. YOU COULD DIE. Which are you more "afraid" of? Like i said-fear keeps us healthy. Fear keeps us alive. Pain keeps us alive. We don't frolick in fire and swallow glass and jump off buildings because it WOULD FUCKING HURT. And that fear of that pain keeps us from doing stupid shit.
Fear of a spanking keeps my kids from doing stupid shit. They don't play with the stove cuz they'll get a spanking.(thus saving my house and my life) they don't touch things that aren't theirs w/o permission b/c of fear. (thus saving me the costly expense of replacing a phone or ipod, or computer b/c an irresponsible child broke it) they don't stink. they remember to wipe their asses. brush their teeth. pick up after themselves. they don't throw tantrums or argue with me, privately or publicy because of fear.
trin has been FULLY potty-trained-i mean no pull-ups, no diapers just at bedtime, nothing. since the boy was born. how old was she? 29 months. less than two and a half. not because she wasnted to-but because i stayed on her ass. and whens she had an accident-i was forgiving and understanding-but when she pissed herself out of distraction, laziness, or defiance-she got a spanking.
And i'm sorry if i'm coming off harsh to you. but it's effective. it works. she's not emotionally damaged or more prone to violence. she is respectful and obedient and i don't have to bargain or barter with my child. there is no discussion. i speak and it is done.
i was just reading not too long ago about this private school in illinois. there was a 6 year old boy who was a fucking terror. he wouldn't listen to the teacher. at all. and it went on for a while. and finally the school told his mom-either you come down here and spank this child or he is no longer welcome here. the mom said no. she doesn't hit her child. oh well. now he's expelled. and she's a fucking martyr. except for the fact that he's now in a public school where he can't be expelled and they CAN'T force her to discipline her son and his new teacher is gonna spend ALL of her time distracted chasing this hellion child around while my child is ignored and not getting the education and attention she deserves because this woman "doesn't hit her child". See how this shit effects me?
And please. please. please.
understand the difference between discipline an abuse.
I have never. Bruised or marked my children. Never. Sadistic assholes corrupt the concept of corporal punishment. They hit-not to TEACH. Not as punishment or reprecusssion but out of ANGER. Anger of being inconvienienced or surprised. Or just becuse their own lives are unfulfilled and they need to take out the dissapointment and frustration of being failures SOMEWHERE and have control over SOMETHING. I do not, nor have i or will i EVER ABUSE MY CHILDREN.
But i will DAMN SURE WHOOP SOME ASS!
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