so. tired.

God, I hate kids birthday parties. Seriously.

Marina's B-Day

whew!!!! Marina's bday was a blast. Plenty of peole from the job was up there. I had a fantastic night for someone who wasn't even gonna go.
It's not that I didn't want to go. I just was expecting my check to day and it don't come.But God sure is good cuz I had a three course meal at Ron of Japan plus drinks and then several cocktails afterward at whiskey blue for.......8 whole dollars. I was perfectly prepared to pay my own way(i wouldn't have gone otherwise) but this experience proved me two things: #1 my new loyola friends are good ones and #2 I still have the power to totally enchant a man from across a crowded room with just half a smile. Yes. O yes.
Anywho-my first night off has been a very good one and now I'm gonna go lay down with the hubby, which I haven't done in a week, so it's gonna feel really, really good. Peace out.

Numb

I am. It's just too freakin much. Nothing i ever do is right. I am forever being "selfish" and "evil". Any alteration I make to life is a platform for him to jump on me. ok, maybe I'm not totally numb. I'm hurt. I'm really fucking hurt. But i'm numb enough to his complaints to say "That's enough."
This isn't about me. And if it is and I make him so unhappy he should LEAVE. Go-PLEASE-find somebody that will "help" you. Find somebody that lifts you up instead of "bringing you down." Find somebody that will make you happy and who will really "act like your best friend". Please, Please, Please do. Cuz I'm tried of being the bad guy. I'm tired of everything I do and all the pieces that make up myself being criticized and abhorred instead of adored and supported. I'm tired of being happy and thinking that everything is great and he is wonderful and coming to find out "nothing is ok between us" and he thinks I'm a horrible person.
I just spent hundreds of dollars of clothes and the trip and food and other crap for the girls-but my opinion about them is never valid because they're not my "flesh and blood".
And I promise never to bring up marriage again. It's not worth it. We have too many issues. Why should I care whether or not the have health insurance? Why should it matter to me that he needs this for court??? That's not a factor. I'm too "selfish" to think that way.
oh, god. I'm babbling. But i'm really not afraid of being alone anymore. if he's so damn unhappy-he can go.I'm that tired of being hurt. And I love those kids and I don't want them to be hurt anymore than they have in the past.....but I can't do this. It's killing me inside. He needs to go. He has to go. Till whatever is broken inside of him is fixed and he doesn't feel the need to hurt me anymore.
I will be fine. I will be better than fine.
Thats three people I will no longer be responsible for supporting.
And a lot less worrying.
a lot less pain.
Why does it have to be this way???
WTF HAPPENED HERE?!?!?

My Gift To You

People, allow me to provide you with a lil "moment" for your day. Turn your speakers UP. Trust me. You're gonna love this. You are going to FEEL this. I ask you, o so kindly, stop what you're doing, press play, and allow me to rock your effin sox off for the next four minutes. Or eight. Cuz you're probly gonna wanna hear it again.

More C/S Atrocities. All True. Check em out.

A federal lawsuit accuses two Allentown police officers of ''outlandish and outrageous conduct'' in what it calls the unprovoked shooting of a man who tried to kill himself with a box cutter.

James H. Stewart, 24, died from two gunshots to his back after the officers tried to arrest him for failing to return to Northampton County Prison after a work-release assignment. He had been jailed for failing to make child support payments.

The suit, filed by attorney John P. Karoly Jr. on March 19, exactly two years after Stewart's death, alleges officer Jeremy Moll shot Stewart twice and that Moll's partner, Wesley Wilcox, yelled at him, ''What the f--- are you doing?''

Filed on behalf of Stewart's estate and his sister, Tonya Stewart, the suit accuses both officers of brutality and using excessive force. Besides Moll and Wilcox, it names former Chief Joseph Blackburn and the city as defendants, and seeks at least $300,000 in punitive and compensatory damages.

Allentown spokesman Joe McDermott said the city would issue no statement on the suit. ''It's litigation, so we can't comment on it,'' he said. ''Our solicitors and lawyers will look over it and proceed accordingly.''

Karoly, of South Whitehall Township, who has won multimillion-dollar settlements against Easton and Bethlehem in police brutality cases, could not be reached for comment.

Stewart, a handyman and father of three, had fallen behind on child support payments and in February 2005 was sent to Northampton County Prison, where he was placed in a work-release program. But he failed to return to the prison March 4, and a warrant was issued for his arrest.

Early on March 19, 2005, police received an anonymous tip that Stewart was at his sister's home at 510 Auburn St., Allentown.

According to the lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court:

Moll and Wilcox arrived minutes later and ''pushed their way'' into the home, where they found Stewart ''sitting harmlessly'' on his bed. The officers ordered him to stand, asked his name and checked his identifying tattoos. When they told Stewart to turn around, he took a box cutter from his belt and ''tried to stab himself.''

One of the officers wrestled the box cutter away and threw it to the floor.

As Stewart stood with his back to the officers and arms to his sides, Moll shot him. Stewart fell to his knees, and Moll shot him again in the back. Stewart dropped to the floor, where he lay dying in a pool of blood.

When Wilcox yelled at Moll, asking what he was doing, Moll replied, ''I don't know! I don't know!'' Tonya Stewart, who stood behind the officers, screamed, ''You killed my brother!''

Wilcox and Moll forced Tonya Stewart to the floor, beside her brother, where she was handcuffed. The officers also handcuffed James Stewart, who was moaning and ''bleeding profusely.''

Wilcox turned to Moll, according to the suit, and said, ''My God, what did you do?''

Stewart was taken to Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest, where he died about 30 minutes later.

At the time of the incident, police said the city's communications center received a call at 2:39 a.m. from the Auburn Street home. The caller told police a wanted man was there and he might have a gun.

As two officers tried to arrest Stewart, according to the police account, he held up a box cutter and a struggle began. One of the officers fired at Stewart, hitting him twice in his upper back.

Besides excessive force and brutality by the officers, the lawsuit alleges wrongful death, unlawful seizure, false imprisonment, denial of medical care, civil conspiracy and assault and battery.

The suit also claims Tonya Stewart suffers from a variety of emotional ailments, including ''severe fright, horror and grief.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July 2, 2000

236 6th St.
Weyburn, Sask.
S4H 2N8

Prime Minister Jean Chretien
House of Commons
Parliament Hill
Ottawa, Ont.

Dear Mr. Prime Minister

RE: THE DEATH OF MY FATHER AS A RESULT OF CANADA'S BIASED AND ANTI-FAMILY COURT SYSTEM

I am the 14-year-old daughter of Darrin White, the father who recently took his life in British Columbia as a result of the frustration and hopelessness caused in dealing with Canada's family justice system. Although the justice system was not 100 percent the cause of his death, based on what I and members of my family have seen, it was the biggest factor. My father took his life mostly in part because of the injustices being perpetrated against him by what many Canadians say is a biased and morally corrupt Canadian family justice system. Our family justice system seems to allow good fathers to be destroyed while it allows vindictive and revengeful mothers to rule over the courts.

Prior to my father's death, he told me of the anguish he was going through trying to see his children. He told me of the abuse that his wife subjected him to. She did not want him to have a relationship even with me, his own daughter, because she was jealous. He told me of the frustration in dealing with the courts and the lawyers. He told me how the court did nothing except put further barriers to him seeing his children.

Now, I too, am being blocked by my step mother from making contact with my own brothers and sisters who live with my father's second wife. I am up against the same barrier that my father faced when he tried to contact his own children before his death. It is very upsetting to be denied access to members of your own family. Keeping children from seeing their parent and other family members is child abuse. It is criminal and it should not be tolerated. Yet, it seems our justice system seems all too tolerant of mothers who do this everyday. While parents are forced to go to courts just to see their children, the lawyers get rich of the misery of the children and families who lives they destroy in family court. Maybe if our courts showed some backbone and stood up against these mothers who are abusing their children that maybe the problem would begin to correct itself.

As a young Canadian I can only say that I am utterly ashamed to see how the country I call Canada treats fathers in its courts. It is a disgrace! I know my father was a good man and a good father. He did not deserve to be pushed over the edge as he was. He did not deserve to be kept from seeing his children. He obviously reached a point where he could see that justice was beyond his reach and for reasons that only God will know, decided that taking his life was the only way to end his suffering.

From what I have learned about the family justice system in this country, Canada is not the home of the proud and the free. In my view, Canada has become a safe haven for corrupt lawyers and biased judges who think nothing about the lives of the children and parents they destroy every day in our family courts.

I have learned that Canada's Justice Minister, Anne McLellan, has been stalling legislation about shared parenting which is intended to prevent the kind of tragedy that has been forced upon my family. I understand that a special committee recommended that the justice department should promote a concept called shared parenting. If shared parenting had been in place before my father took his life and if our system of justice guaranteed the rights of children to see their parents, I have no doubt in my mind that my loving father would be alive today. All he wanted was to see his children, but it seems that our justice system would not give him that.

For this, the Justice Minister should resign. Maybe someone with children and with some knowledge of the problems facing families in our courts today would make a better Minister. What kind of justice can families expect from a Ministry headed by a person without children and in addition, a lawyer? Without children, how can the Justice Minister even begin to understand what it is like to love children and to appreciate the importance that parents play in the lives of their children.

It's time for this country to start waking up to what's going on in our family courts and its time that something get done about it.

Although I am only 14 years of age, I too will join the ranks of those who are fighting this evil system of justice. This is not the kind of Canada I or other Canadians want to see. This country's justice system has robbed me of one of the most precious gifts in my life, my father. I will not let his death be in vain.

Things need to change for it seems that all fathers in family courts are being put through this same thing. We need to change things now. Too many kids are going without a father because of the injustice in our family courts. Too many kids are being hurt. I may be 14, but I know what is right and wrong. There are good and bad mothers and fathers but it seems that most fathers are considered bad by our family court system and this is wrong. Please don't let my Dad's death be in vain. Children have the right to the love of BOTH of their parents, both moms and dads. The ONLY reason why a child should not be able to see a parent is when there is PROVEN abuse, not allegations.

I would very much like to hear what your perspective as a Member of Parliament is on this problem. I would like you to tell me what you intend to do to fix this problem. One thing you can do for me is to ask that the Minister of Justice resign. As the Minister of Justice, she should be held accountable for the dismal failure of our family justice system and its destruction of children and their families.

In memory of my loving father,

/Signed/

Ashlee A.D. Barnett-White

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

According to the Ohio WKYC News story System Overload: Father pays child support, still jailed (5/15/07), Derrick Adams is a "deadbeat dad" who has been arrested multiple times, even though he is making his child support payments. At first he was making $3,750 and the state was taking over half of it in child support. Then he took a 40% pay cut at his job, and is now paying two-thirds of his income in child support.

Every day, the state of Ohio processes more than 50,000 child support payments.

Has that volume led to unfair treatment of parents who are paying?

Derrick Adams is a deadbeat dad. Or so says the State of Ohio.

Deputies arrested him not once, but twice, even though the father of three boys is making child support payments.

At the time of his divorce, Derrick's monthly child support payment was $2,000.

But last year, Derrick hit hard times, taking a forty percent pay cut at his job with a Cleveland bank.

At Derrick's new pay level, the state could only garnish $1,500 a month.

Leaving him just $750 to live on.

Derrick says, because he couldn't pay the full amount he was labeled a deadbeat, thrown in jail and his drivers license was suspended. "It's been tough but I've been trying to work through it. Of course when they take your license away from you, it's hard to work when most of your time is in the car traveling from customer to customer."

But Cleveland juvenile judge, Joseph Russo says the system is doing "the best it can." Russo sets child support payments everyday, and says parents like Derrick do have rights.

"If a father does lose their job, they may have a basis to halt, or suspend, or decrease their child support."

But Derrick and other parents who've contacted Channel 3 say their pleas are often brushed aside by a system concerned more with consistency than compassion.

"It should be fair. If there was some kind of income equalization I think that would be the fairest way. But taking the kids out of the equation from the beginning of the divorce proceedings is probably the right way to go."

Derrick has since had his license reinstated and continues to pay as much as he can, but falls behind every month.

He hopes to get another hearing soon to plead his case and to stop being labeled a deadbeat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

he Chicago Sun-Times article "State's deadbeat dads owe $3 billion" (4/8/07) powerfully depicts the economic struggles some custodial mothers face after divorce. Unfortunately, the article's simplistic portrayal of divorced moms as long-suffering saints and divorced dads as deadbeats misses a great deal about the realities of divorce and child support in Illinois.

The article draws from and refers readers to Illinois Child Support Enforcement's "deadbeats" page. This "deadbeats" page provides a wide array of details about the 130 Illinois fathers and mothers who have child support arrearages of $5,000 or more. However, the state chose to omit one very important piece of information—the alleged deadbeats' occupations. Had the state listed these, it would be very apparent that most of the parents listed are not "deadbeats," but are instead low-income men and women who were unable to meet the rigid and unrealistic demands of the child support system.

Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement data shows that two-thirds of those behind on child support nationwide earn poverty level wages; less than four percent of the national child support debt is owed by those earning $40,000 or more a year. According to the largest federally-funded study of divorced dads ever conducted, unemployment, not willful neglect, is the largest cause of failure to pay child support.

The Sun-Times informs us that "deadbeat parents owe $3 billion in Illinois and $100 billion nationwide." Yet most of this consists of artificially-inflated arrearages created because the system is mulishly impervious to the economic realities working people face, such as layoffs, wage cuts, unemployment, and work-related injuries. According to the Urban Institute, less than one in 20 non-custodial parents who suffers a substantial drop in income is able to get courts to reduce the support obligation. In such cases, the amounts owed mount quickly, as do interest (9% in Illinois) and penalties.

It is true, as the article demonstrates that the drop in living standards which custodial mothers sometimes experience after divorce can be drastic. However, research shows that divorced dads' living standard drops as much or more. What both sides in the divorce wars often fail to recognize is that the income that once supported one household cannot support two at the same level, regardless of how much fathers pay.

The Sun-Times tells us that "divorce lawyers joke that high-earning husbands come down with 'AIDS' after a divorce—'Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome.'" Yet if one tries thinking of divorced fathers as people instead of as villains, it's not hard to see why some dads earn less money after a divorce.

Divorce is a psychologically shattering event for fathers, usually more so than for mothers. Fathers—not mothers—are often cut off from their children. Many suffer from depression. A divorced father is ten times more likely to commit suicide than a divorced mother, and three times more likely to commit suicide than a married father.

The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women, not by men. Research shows that most of these do not involve a serious transgression by the men, such as violence or adultery, but instead because the women feel unappreciated or emotionally unfulfilled. From a man's perspective, this often means that his wife: ended the marriage against his will; took his children out of his everyday life; and harmed his kids by breaking up the stable, two-parent home they once enjoyed. Then she demanded that he dramatically lower his standard of living in order to finance her decision. It's not hard to see why men who once worked hard to support their families may be too disheartened to make the same sacrifices under these new conditions.

One also wonders about the Sun-Times' priorities. Mark Saban is one of the dads singled out for criticism, yet the article informs us that Saban visits his kids regularly, has paid some child support, and puts forth a plausible case that after his business failed he lost the ability to pay the support that was demanded of him. Only one who views a father as an ATM machine and nothing more could agree with the Sun-Times' listing of Saban as the "Second Worst dad in Illinois"?

Mothers often violate fathers' already meager visitation rights, and sometimes alienate their children from them. Some mothers move far away in order to frustrate fathers' contact with their children, while others make spurious accusations of abuse. Fathers are sometimes financially ruined by divorce--legal bills are huge, and they are often compelled by courts to pay their ex-wives' legal costs, too.

Given the myriad injustices and problems

fathers face when dealing with the family law

system, it isn't surprising that there are

divorced fathers who don't pay their child

support. What's surprising is that so many do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That very last paragraph says so much. Read it again. And again.

o this ugly.greasy.nasty.smelly.stupid.alcoholic.patchy-faced.wife-beating.baby-killing sonofab

so upset. so so upset.

wheaties and poop

i started my day covered in poop. i say "poop" and not "shit" so that you can grasp the literal concept i'm expressing. POOP. At 6 am. Poop. Everywhere. I'm not gonna tell you the whole story. Why? Because it's kinda gross and I think a little more interesting if you don't know all the details. But I will say a few things. NO. It was not baby poop.YES. It was most definately on me. From my shoulders down. Yes, it did serve some great purpose, greater than I knew at the time, b/c if you're able to see my previous blog I had some more shit (figuratively, this time) thrown at me later on. But I really think the 6am shit(literal) was a gift from God. B/c after what happened later-I might have done something terrible, and quite rash. However, I had quite the unique viewpoint of being able to say "Hey. At least I'm not covered in poop." And I was actually quite glad after that. After realizing that I no longer even had to endure the retching stench of the poop....I was near bliss. So....and this is going to sound more than a little nutty, but bear with me, there is method to my madness, I just want to say, "Thank You, O Lord, for covering me in poop today. It made everything else seem not quite so bad, and allowed me to keep my temper from raging out of control. I love you, as always. Amen."

Obama is hawt

unimportant, random(but true) quiz thingy

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

i'm ALMOST speechless in disbelief

NBC5.com

..>..>..>..>..>..>

More Images: Police Round Up Alleged Deadbeats

130 Alleged Deadbeat Dads Arrested On Father's Day

POSTED: 6:39 am CDT June 18, 2007

UPDATED: 11:53 am CDT June 18, 2007

..startindex-->CHICAGO -- Richard Coleman's girlfriend had just given birth to a baby boy when the Cook County sheriff's office called his cell phone and asked him to meet them in the hospital's parking lot.He stepped outside and quickly found himself in handcuffs, one of the first arrests in a weeklong sting targeting deadbeat dads.

..>..>..>..>..>..>

Images: Deadbeats' Father's Day Video: Fathers Rounded Up

Altogether, 130 men who collectively owe more than $1.5 million in child support were arrested, Sheriff Tom Dart announced on Sunday."For hundreds of thousands of people Father's Day is just a very, very painful day," Dart said. "It actually serves as a perverse reminder of just how difficult their life is because there is no father, and not only is there no father there, but there is someone who has walked away from their responsibilities."Coleman, a 28-year-old Evanston resident, owes a former girlfriend nearly $10,000 in child support for another child, the sheriff's office said Sunday. Another man owes his ex-wife more than $112,000 in back support.There was no phone listing for a Richard Coleman in Evanston.Dart did not know how many of the men were still in custody Sunday, but said many of them had been released on bond, including Coleman, who posted $500 to get out of jail.The men were all taken into custody without incident on civil contempt warrants for not complying with the terms of court-ordered child support. Dart estimates there are roughly 2,000 such warrants still pending in Cook County."This is an ongoing effort," Dart said. "We're going to continue going after these folks.This is not going to stop."The sheriff's office is also looking for four deadbeat moms who owe child support. ..stopindex-->

Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Un-effing-believeable. IT'S FATHER'S DAY!
Ok i find so much of this nauseating and wrong I really am at a loss for words simply because I don't know where to begin......rrrrrrrrr
ok first of all-our society seriously needs to reevaluate our definition of a "deadbeat dad" because when we use this term it is used as a blanket to cover pretty much any dad that doesn't live with his kid. Or someone that isn't giving the mother what the courts has decided should be his share of the childs expenses. You know what I think a deadbeat dad is? One that doesn't see his kids and doesn't try to. One that doesn't go to court and fight for his babies. One that is dissapointed that the IV-D is taking money out of his check and now he can't go clubbing or buy that nicer car. But how bout the one that is DEVASTATED when that money is gone b/c since it is gone they can't even afford to pay rent on a two bedroom apartment so his kids has his own bed to sleep in when the mother DECIDES he can see his offspring.....
And another thing...this article says that these men "collectively owe more than $1.5 million in child support". Prove it up. Prove that these women spent 1.5 million on the KIDS and not themselves or their boyfriends. I'm from fucking Missouri so SHOW ME. And ALL the men obviously have kids-and did NOT get to spend Fathers Day with them. Visitation and support are supposedly "seperate issues" when it comes to the court but it seems like you just interfered with the visitation of 103 men for the issue of support. Kept them in jail. Made them post bond. That money isn't going to the kids-that money is going straight to the clerk for the circuit court of cook county. That's 500$ that that man no longer even has the option of using for the benefit of his kids. These men's jobs were put in jeopardy. They were prevented from going to work. From looking for jobs. Because they're not paying support. This seems rather counter-productive.....maybe it's just me.

While I have you here-here's some post Father's Day MythBusting:

1. Deadbeat dads: Divorced fathers pay 90 percent of the child support they have been ordered to pay. Fully employed divorced fathers pay all that is due. In addition, they pay visitation expenses. [Depending on the extent of the research providing the result, fathers (all fathers including never married) pay 70-80 percent of what they have been ordered to pay. The low end  70 percent  relies on recipient surveys that do not account for money that is paid but withheld as repayment for welfare, and possible bias. In all cases, the primary cause of non-payment is that the person ordered to pay is unable to pay.]
   
   
2. The No-Show Dad: The rate of contact between fathers and their children following divorce shows "paternal devotion and tenacity [that] is entirely at odds with the more popular image of the runaways, absentee, or disappearing dad."
   
   
3. Standards of Living: Women with children are, as a group, better off financially following divorce than men. That's right, it's not the other way around.
   
   
4. Terms of Divorce: Far from being docile, easily manipulated victims of a male dominated divorce system, women have always fared well in negotiations and settlements. Men are far more likely to be the biggest losers in the process.
   
   
5. Emotional Issues of Divorce: Women are happier after divorce than men. Given the results related to the other myths, this is likely to cause the least surprise. They have the children, they are better off financially, they drive better cars, their situation is less likely to interfere with new relationships and remarriage ....
   
   
6. Who leaves the marriage ... and why it matters: " ... women initiate the preponderance (63 - 75%) of modern divorces ..." It matters because it vindicates the finding that men do less well then women after divorce, because the blame heaped on men for divorce should be addressed, and because the myth serves to further unlevel the playing field of domestic relations law and politics on which fathers are already disadvantaged.

I'M NOT SAYING NONE OF THESE MEN "DESERVED" HIS FATHER'S DAY PRESENT. MAYBE MORE THAN HALF OF THESE MEN NOT ONLY DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN-MAYBE THEY'VE NEVER EVEN LOOKED BACK, NEVER TRIED, AND TOTALLY IGNORED THE FINANCIAL AND EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF THEIR CHILDREN. BUT I GIVE YOU MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE THAT AT LEAST A HANDFUL ARE TRYING. THEY ARE DOING THE BEST THEY CAN AND GETTING SCREWED. (Did you know that if a man gives money to the mother without giving it thru the sate, or buys his childrens clothes or food or school supllies or pays tuition or even pays the mortage on the house he can no longer live in but his children do, that it is considered a "GIFT" to the mother and is not counted toward support of his children by the court in ANY way????) AND GETTING LOCKED UP AND AWAY FROM THEIR CHILDREN AND THEIR FAMILIES IS JUST ANOTHER KICK IN THE ASS. ANOTHER RAPE BY THE FUCKING COURT SYSTEM AND I THINK IT IS AWFUL. ABSOLUTELY AWFUL.
The whole concept of "child support" has spun out of control and this is another indication of that. Suspending professional lisences is completely counterproductive to the cause-it's just another way of "PUNISHING" a man for having kids. Some states are passing laws that require men to pay child support until the child is 23. No. After 18 you are an ADULT. And it should be the parents choice if they choose to assist their children beyond that. Period. You're telling me that I would have been better off had my parents divorced b/c then my daddy would have had to help me pay for school???? When in reality my parents wouldn't even help me with the senior fees associated with my last year of highschool??? Great message to send. I'd have been better off if my momma ran off with some other guy and divorced my dad and i only got to see him 2-4 days every other week b/c the government would be raiding his paycheck and hookin it UP???? Lemme out you up on something-my mom is an emotional wreck and a moral disaster. I would not have the extreme sense of responsibilty or the high moral fiber that I do today if I had grown up with my mother as my primary influence. I got that FROM MY DADDY. And thats not some random rarity. I have seen these psycotic bm(not babymomma-BIRTHMOTHER)'s lie and scheme and steal and brainwash. They SCAR their own babies emotionally and physically and let other people do it too. And the court only cares that the fathers "support" is paid up. Send these sheriff's not to pick up these men-send them to the houses of the mother to check and see that these kids are ok. That they're not scared. That they're not dirty. That they're not hungry. Let them see that brand new car or truck and the jewelry or DRUGS while the kids outgrew the clothes they're wearing 3 months ago.
I could go on and on. I really, really could. On and on. And for that reason I'll stop now.

i know what you're thinking

dayum! this biatch is blogging out of control lately. well. i can't sleep. seriously. i can't sleep until i'm so exhausted i pass out and then i only make it four hours and i refuse to take drugs to augment my sleep. so my mind is wound up tight as a spring and it's gotta come out somehow. sorry. i start back work tomorrow so you'll be pretty much blog free for a week. lucky you.

chest pain

i am having like serious chest pain and abdominal cramps and i feel like i can't breathe and i am o so very tired but when i try and lay down to rest sleep totally escapes me. whats going on man? i'm no more stressed and pressured than usual. I'm kinda freaked out. (ok, and i have this persistant cough, and i can't get it to stop and when i cough i taste blood-so that contributes to the whole freaking out thing as well)

Flavor of The Week

Well the new movie choice for my babies is "Little Shop Of Horrors". Which pleases me. You know since I did have a "supporting"role in my high school production. And it's like my favorite musical of all time. The three girls watch it at least 3 times a day. They now know all of the musical numbers. I could not be prouder.And every night before trin goes to bed she say "Mommy! Wan wash li' chop! Li' chop!" Cuteness, no?

WOOHOO

HITTIN UP THE FEST THIS AFTERNOON FOLKS. YEP. GONNA TAKE ALL THE KIDDIES, PERHAPS RIDE A FEW RIDES, MAYBE EAT SOME GRILLED PORK ON A STICK (PUERTO RICANS ARE SOOOOO CREATIVE, AREN'T THEY??) JUST WALK AROUND AND ENJOY BEIN OUT.
AND IF THE KIDS DECIDE TO LET ME OUTTA THE HOUSE, I'MMA GO BACK THIS EVENING. WITH MY LITTLE SISTER AND BROTHER. IF YOU SEE US, WAVE, SAY HI. SAY "HEY WILLIAMS'S'S'S HOW YA'LL DOIN THIS FINE SUMMER EVENING?"LOL. JUST DON'T START NOTHING. CUZ WHEN WE GET TOGETHER....WE GET A LITTLE.....UM....HOW DO YOU SAY..... "BUCK"? LMAO
ROFL
NO, SERIOUSLY THO, I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY SISTER AND A FEW MAY HAVE AN ISSUE OR TWO WITH ME AS WELL.....BUT DO NOT BOTHER US WHEN WE'RE WITH THE KIDS!!!! TAKE A NUMBER AND WE'LL PENCIL YOU IN FOR AN ASSWHOPPIN LATER!

off week

I have officially entered my "off week" from loyola (which it really isn't cuz i stll gotta work at CAPS but whatever-5 days off is not as good as 7 but ALOTALOTALOT better than NONE like I've done b4) So let me know if you MISS me (and/or mah babiez) and what you wanna do-cuz we are so DOWN!!!! LOL.

Shocked and Appalled

In case you haven't heard:

(June 13, 2007)--Newly-released 911 tapes show a woman died in a Los Angeles area hospital emergency room after doctors ignored her and 911 dispatchers would not arrange her transport to another facility.

Now King Harbor Hospital is under fire.

Some former patients are defending it but not the family members of 43 year old Edith Isabel Rodriguez.

Last month the mother of three was left to die on the floor of the emergency room lobby when no one would help her.

Her boyfriend, Jose Prado, made a frantic call to 911 from a hospital pay phone as she lay dying.

Now those 911 tapes have been released.

Prado used a translator to speak to the dispatcher.

When he got no help he hung up.

A few minutes later, a Good Samaritan tried 911 again.

Tape transcripts show the two saying that hospital staff were ignoring Rodriguez while she vomited blood and writhed in pain for 45 minutes in the hospital waiting area.

Dispatchers said paramedics would not come to move Rodriguez to another hospital.

Instead, they suggested contacting hospital administrators and security, who then arrested Rodriguez for a parole violation.

She died on her way out of the hospital.

Experts say Rodriguez could have survived if she had been treated early enough for her perforated bowel.

After listening to the tapes, Los Angeles County Supervisors called the hospital's actions a moral and human breakdown.

The incident is the latest high-profile lapse at King-Harbor, formerly known as King/Drew.

State authorities are investigating the death, and last week federal inspectors gave the hospital 23 days to shape up or risk losing federal funding.

I find this ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. I am so angry that this happened. I am filled with sadness for this womans family and filled with fury for all the parties that ignored this poor womans suffering. I have a particular hatred for the male 911 operator that berated the woman calling-she was trying to get help for this woman-she was already in the er for something totally unrelated and was probably distressed enough over her own illness(or one of her loved ones) and she had enough compassion to call 911 for this woman that lay DYING on the floor and the f*ing 911 operator has the nerve to give her ATTITUDE. I have no sympathy for this man. No understanding. Nothing.