Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
bloggin...waitin...bloggin
I'm waiting for Van to get out of the shower. I figure I might as well blog. It' one of my favorite pastimes, lol.
We're celebrating tonight, cuz it was a crazy weekend. Dinner, a movie, and hella alcohol. Toasts to our blessings and good fortune.
Life is SO good right now. I can't even believe it. It's just all so amazing and kinda scary-cuz it can't keep getting better right? I mean-I believe in checks and balances and I believe that in life for every AMAZING period of time you have-there's going to be an equally AWFUL period of time........It's just.....balance, you know?
So thats why the AWESOMENESS of this period of time is a little alarming. It's like, can it really be this good?
FUCK
I mean-me and Van are at our finest. HE's amazing and wonderful and thoughtful and helpful and this friday I discovered as much as I brag on him-he brags just as much about me. I'm so in love with him, even after 6 years, and our relationship is just in really, really, good shape-inspite of everything we've been thru and because of it.
Trin is effing brilliant. She is so articulate and funny and polite and concerned. And watching her and her brother, two people that I created, interact is almost mind-blowing at times. They are so in love with each other. They just walk up to each other and hold each other sometimes. Or they lay together on the floor in complete silnce and suck their thumbs and enjoy one anothers prescence. He has a cut on his forehead and as I changed his bandage today she said "Thank you mommy. Thank you for taking care of my brudder." Yeah, I think that pretty much says it all.
And of course- court. It's finally done, and I have dreamed of this many, many times over the past 15 months-and now it's real. It's over, and without winning the lottery and hiring a team of expert, hungry-ass lawyers, or the heifer getting killed in some random tragic accident-we came out ON TOP. It's surreal. And now on TOP of it all-she's being all sweet and cooperative. And i'm sure it's all an act and it's just because she needs van's cooperation for the kids to participate in her brothers wedding, but after all this time of hostility and hatred and SILENCE-to hear her chatting it up and being responsive and collaberative-it's kind of unnerving. I won't allow myself to hate her-God has allowed me to escape that-and I'm fighting to maintain it. But I do have to put in perspective-that she lied and tried to have Van thrown in jail, that she made the children feel horrible for loving me and van and their home here, that she placed such emphasis on Trinity being only their HALF sister, that she refused to talk, to try and work ANYTHING out for 15 fucking months because she thought she could limit our time with them to every other weekend, and never let us pick them up from school, and prevent Van from getting his joint legal custody barring him from any desicions about his childrens lives. And all those delusions are now GONE-cuz theres a court order to the contrary.
*sigh*
Shit is good. Even more good shit has not been mentioned-but Van has completed his shower and our night of celebration has commenced.
But, wow, my friends......
Life is so GOOD.
We're celebrating tonight, cuz it was a crazy weekend. Dinner, a movie, and hella alcohol. Toasts to our blessings and good fortune.
Life is SO good right now. I can't even believe it. It's just all so amazing and kinda scary-cuz it can't keep getting better right? I mean-I believe in checks and balances and I believe that in life for every AMAZING period of time you have-there's going to be an equally AWFUL period of time........It's just.....balance, you know?
So thats why the AWESOMENESS of this period of time is a little alarming. It's like, can it really be this good?
FUCK
I mean-me and Van are at our finest. HE's amazing and wonderful and thoughtful and helpful and this friday I discovered as much as I brag on him-he brags just as much about me. I'm so in love with him, even after 6 years, and our relationship is just in really, really, good shape-inspite of everything we've been thru and because of it.
Trin is effing brilliant. She is so articulate and funny and polite and concerned. And watching her and her brother, two people that I created, interact is almost mind-blowing at times. They are so in love with each other. They just walk up to each other and hold each other sometimes. Or they lay together on the floor in complete silnce and suck their thumbs and enjoy one anothers prescence. He has a cut on his forehead and as I changed his bandage today she said "Thank you mommy. Thank you for taking care of my brudder." Yeah, I think that pretty much says it all.
And of course- court. It's finally done, and I have dreamed of this many, many times over the past 15 months-and now it's real. It's over, and without winning the lottery and hiring a team of expert, hungry-ass lawyers, or the heifer getting killed in some random tragic accident-we came out ON TOP. It's surreal. And now on TOP of it all-she's being all sweet and cooperative. And i'm sure it's all an act and it's just because she needs van's cooperation for the kids to participate in her brothers wedding, but after all this time of hostility and hatred and SILENCE-to hear her chatting it up and being responsive and collaberative-it's kind of unnerving. I won't allow myself to hate her-God has allowed me to escape that-and I'm fighting to maintain it. But I do have to put in perspective-that she lied and tried to have Van thrown in jail, that she made the children feel horrible for loving me and van and their home here, that she placed such emphasis on Trinity being only their HALF sister, that she refused to talk, to try and work ANYTHING out for 15 fucking months because she thought she could limit our time with them to every other weekend, and never let us pick them up from school, and prevent Van from getting his joint legal custody barring him from any desicions about his childrens lives. And all those delusions are now GONE-cuz theres a court order to the contrary.
*sigh*
Shit is good. Even more good shit has not been mentioned-but Van has completed his shower and our night of celebration has commenced.
But, wow, my friends......
Life is so GOOD.
dammitdammitdammit
my kids are trying to send me to jail.
seriously.
the boy keeps injuring himself!
he's learning to walk, last week it was a black eye-today he cracked his forehead open!
my poor little boy, he want's to go so fast. he wants to follow mommy everywhere, and he wants to keep up with his big sisters every hop, skip, and jump.
he seems fine, but seeing him banged up is KILLING ME. i can't take him outta the house! i have enough problems with that as it is! last month i was at the bank and these cops kept staring at him-then at me-then at him, then they interrogate me and trin like we're an amber alert waiting to happen
"is this your mommy?"
"is this your little brother?"
"how old are you?"
"how old is your brother?"
"where's your daddy?"
and to me
"who'd he get those eyes from?"
me-i dunno
"well he got them from somebody"
me-i guess his grandmother or my grandfather or something
I wanted to scream-WHAT THE FUCK!
It's MY baby. And i may be medium toned but-i happen to like light skinned men. Is that ANYONES business? No. I'm sick of people asking me whose baby he is. He's mine. I was there. I'm absolutely certain. Just because he's fair-skinned with blue eyes everybody wants to question where I got him.
I DIDN'T STEAL THE FUCKING BABY.
Grrr, and to take him out all banged up-shit-I'm asking for it. I'm too busy too be locked up waiting for my fucking i-bond to process. I got bills to pay and babies to feed.
Stop falling boy! Why won't you just be still and let mommy cuddle you! It's much less painful! And you're too pretty to be all scarred up!
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.
seriously.
the boy keeps injuring himself!
he's learning to walk, last week it was a black eye-today he cracked his forehead open!
my poor little boy, he want's to go so fast. he wants to follow mommy everywhere, and he wants to keep up with his big sisters every hop, skip, and jump.
he seems fine, but seeing him banged up is KILLING ME. i can't take him outta the house! i have enough problems with that as it is! last month i was at the bank and these cops kept staring at him-then at me-then at him, then they interrogate me and trin like we're an amber alert waiting to happen
"is this your mommy?"
"is this your little brother?"
"how old are you?"
"how old is your brother?"
"where's your daddy?"
and to me
"who'd he get those eyes from?"
me-i dunno
"well he got them from somebody"
me-i guess his grandmother or my grandfather or something
I wanted to scream-WHAT THE FUCK!
It's MY baby. And i may be medium toned but-i happen to like light skinned men. Is that ANYONES business? No. I'm sick of people asking me whose baby he is. He's mine. I was there. I'm absolutely certain. Just because he's fair-skinned with blue eyes everybody wants to question where I got him.
I DIDN'T STEAL THE FUCKING BABY.
Grrr, and to take him out all banged up-shit-I'm asking for it. I'm too busy too be locked up waiting for my fucking i-bond to process. I got bills to pay and babies to feed.
Stop falling boy! Why won't you just be still and let mommy cuddle you! It's much less painful! And you're too pretty to be all scarred up!
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Please Help
Vote Now!!
My friends, please go to politico.com where you can vote on question to be asked during the Jan 31 debate. Among the thousands of other questions-there is one about Father's Rights and the preservation of the American Family. My family's battle against the biased Family Court system recently ended in our favor and I'm absolutely delighted, however I cannot just quit Father Advocacy after all I've learned throughout our long, hard journey.
Fathers and Mothers and children of divorce need to be heard in this country, and when they say-I still want to see BOTH of my parents the judge needs to LISTEN and not stick to "four days a month and two weeks in the summer" standardized BULLSHIT.
The question reads as follows:
"Fatherlessness is a huge issue in our country. It results in higher rates of teen violence, higher rates of drug and alcohol use, higher rates of suicide and higher health care utilization. If you become President would you work to change this by supporting a Family Rights act that has at its premise a Presumption of Equal Shared Parenting for fit parents in the event of separation and divorce? Do you believe that kids benefit from equal time with both their mom and their dad?"
Click the link to :"Vote for this question" And we have a chance to actually hears how the candidates feel about fathers' involvement in the life of their children.
If you're having trouble finding the question, sort the questions by "Topics", then go to page 103-under the topic social issues and scroll down until you get to it.
Vote Now!!
Thank you so much,
Ash
My friends, please go to politico.com where you can vote on question to be asked during the Jan 31 debate. Among the thousands of other questions-there is one about Father's Rights and the preservation of the American Family. My family's battle against the biased Family Court system recently ended in our favor and I'm absolutely delighted, however I cannot just quit Father Advocacy after all I've learned throughout our long, hard journey.
Fathers and Mothers and children of divorce need to be heard in this country, and when they say-I still want to see BOTH of my parents the judge needs to LISTEN and not stick to "four days a month and two weeks in the summer" standardized BULLSHIT.
The question reads as follows:
"Fatherlessness is a huge issue in our country. It results in higher rates of teen violence, higher rates of drug and alcohol use, higher rates of suicide and higher health care utilization. If you become President would you work to change this by supporting a Family Rights act that has at its premise a Presumption of Equal Shared Parenting for fit parents in the event of separation and divorce? Do you believe that kids benefit from equal time with both their mom and their dad?"
Click the link to :"Vote for this question" And we have a chance to actually hears how the candidates feel about fathers' involvement in the life of their children.
If you're having trouble finding the question, sort the questions by "Topics", then go to page 103-under the topic social issues and scroll down until you get to it.
Vote Now!!
Thank you so much,
Ash
Thursday, January 24, 2008
thinking of my babe-HEY YOU
i'd like to be the kinda dream you'd never share/to be your boss and to be your maid/ your shaving cream/your razor blade/the buttons up your shirt/your favorite underware
i'd.
like.
to be...
the owner of the zipper on your jeans/and that thing that makes you happy
i'd.
like.
to be...
the beginning the end and the inbetween/ and be your slave/and be your queen......
i'd like to be the first white hair upon your head/to be your cherry pie/your daily bread/i'll cook for free/i'll make your bed/i'll write down all the things you've thought and never said
i'd.
like .
to be...
the only thing on earth that makes you cry/the only thing that makes you happy
soon.
you.
will see...
that noone else but me can take you this high/and soon you'll make your last name mine...
i'd.
like.
to be...
the owner of the zipper on your jeans/and that thing that makes you happy
i'd.
like.
to be...
the beginning the end and the inbetween/ and be your slave/and be your queen......
i'd like to be the first white hair upon your head/to be your cherry pie/your daily bread/i'll cook for free/i'll make your bed/i'll write down all the things you've thought and never said
i'd.
like .
to be...
the only thing on earth that makes you cry/the only thing that makes you happy
soon.
you.
will see...
that noone else but me can take you this high/and soon you'll make your last name mine...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD(lol-just for you,babe!)
it's OVER!
WE'RE FINALLY DONE!
AFTER 15 LONG, ARDUOUS MONTHS OF WORRYING, WAITING, PRAYING, AND HOPING-COURT IS OVER!
And i'm so happppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
it's perfect-o-it's so perfect!
God is goOd, and even tho the lawyers kept pushing this "worst-case scenario" on us and urging us to give in and settle we held strong and fast because we knew WE were right. We knew God would take care of us because we were good. And we did everything right. We compromised. We gave her so many chances to work it out and talk things out peacefully and thats why the bitchface heifer was left in tears in courtroom after the judge admonished her and set the schedule.
Now we get plenty of time that she can't take away, ever, just because she's in a bad mood and wants someone to kiss her ass-she can't use the kids anymore! And we get tons of holidays and vacation time!
mmmmmm. I'm so HAPPY!
it's OVER!
no more court dates. no more wondering. no more nothing. it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things"
.......
YAY US!
WE'RE FINALLY DONE!
AFTER 15 LONG, ARDUOUS MONTHS OF WORRYING, WAITING, PRAYING, AND HOPING-COURT IS OVER!
And i'm so happppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
it's perfect-o-it's so perfect!
God is goOd, and even tho the lawyers kept pushing this "worst-case scenario" on us and urging us to give in and settle we held strong and fast because we knew WE were right. We knew God would take care of us because we were good. And we did everything right. We compromised. We gave her so many chances to work it out and talk things out peacefully and thats why the bitchface heifer was left in tears in courtroom after the judge admonished her and set the schedule.
Now we get plenty of time that she can't take away, ever, just because she's in a bad mood and wants someone to kiss her ass-she can't use the kids anymore! And we get tons of holidays and vacation time!
mmmmmm. I'm so HAPPY!
it's OVER!
no more court dates. no more wondering. no more nothing. it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things"
.......
YAY US!
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