tired of being that strong person

cuz I'm not. and i wasn't built for this. and i'm fucking tired of not leaning on anyone but i can't bring myself to do it...my pride won't let me.
i wish i had my mother or my father to turn to...just to hold me while i cry...but i don't...
and despite what you may have heard I DO cry
i cry alot
i'm crying right now
i don't want to be a single parent
i don't want to be alone
i want to stop isolating myself for fear of rejection or failure or being taken advantage of...
bACAUSE IT FUCKING HURTSANDI'MALLALONEANDTHISSHITDOESN'TFEELGOODMAN
and i just
i want somebody to hold me
hold me while i cry
and when i'm scared
somebody i can BELIEVE when they say it'll be all right
somebody who'll take care of me
i take care of everyone else-i swear i do
i never turned away from one person that needed me my whole life
i swear
i swear i didn't
i fuckin swear it
god
god, i swear






and i'm not.....
maybe
just maybe i'm not fucking superwoman

shit
fuck



and if you read this don't you dare feel sorry for me just cuz i hurt
thats not fair
NOBODY
EVER
is allowed to feel sorry for me
so if you pity me, right here. right now.
FUCK YOU.