There is only one pretty child in the world. And every mother has it.

I don't brag about my daughter enough. I mean-she's a toddler-the only shit she does right now is BADASS shit.....so all the cute shit gets overlooked....but she is really cute. She thinks she's so grown. She grabs you and says "c'mon" and takes you where she wants to go to do what she wants to do. Some mornings she lays between me and Van on the bed and she moves her head back and forth, back and forth, giving us each a kiss over and over untill she gets dizzy.
When I cry she comes t me and goes "wha HAPPY?!?!?"(what happened?) and "ok, ok?" and "i know." and she pats your arm or back or face.
She's my little attack beast-on my command she will run up to ANYONE(even daddy) and hit them and say "NO!NO!" 'TOP-E!"(stop it) "TUH-AP"(shut up)
And now she says "I love you." clear as a bell.
People say I'm crazy for having another baby right now....but....kids give you this......feeling......it's like a drug. It's so.....AMAZING and REAL and it is just SO. It can't be described.
Some would look at this as a platform to jump off of and say "SEE! SHE ONLY HAS REAL LOVE FOR HER OWN DAUGHTER!"
This is not the case. I just happen to be exploring my love for Trin in this specific entry. Most people don't believe I could possibly love those girls as much as I love my "own" offspring or even that it's unfair to Trin if I do......
Believe what you'd like. I love ALL OF MY KIDS. AND THEY ARE MINE. THEY ARE A PART OF MY LIFE, MY HEART, MY FAMILY. I am not simply watching these kids grow up-I AM GROWING THEM UP. There are pieces of me inside them, maybe not gentically, but parts of me, nonetheless. Things that I have taught them, or showed them, or just random things that they saw and admired and aspired to imitate.
There is nothing I would do for my own daughter that I would not do for them. Absolutely nothing. They are the same in my heart. All of them. I feel the same responsibility toward them. The same crazy, upsidedown world unconditional love. Because they came from somebody elses womb is meaningless. If that actually mattered when it came to love adoption would be a wholly unsuccessful and unfulfilling endeavor. But it's not.


Are my words resonating yet?


I love ALL my kids. SATURNINA D. JESSIE T. & TRINITY N.(AND BABY T) None are any more or less special than ANY of the others. They all matter. They are all important to me. They are all truely, madly, and deeply loved by me. And I will make sure they all ALWAYS KNOW IT.
ALWAYS.