It's Called MYspace not YOURspace-so guess who controls what goes on 'round hurr????????

The girls are OURS every weekend. In writing. o yes!
I GET TO SEE MY BABIES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH
bliss.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I don't wanna put myself out there or anything like that but I must say.....

I have done a LOT of things with my man's balls. I will spare you the details. However, I can honestly say I have never put them neither in my pocket nor my purse.
LMAO!

A response in response to your response but in another blog entirely....yeah...

I know what she wants. I know why she's fixated on the untruth that things were perfect until I came along. She wants to be special. I mean-it does make sense that she does want a little credit for giving bir-wait correction-carrying and then having two of his children removed from her womb. It's natural to want a little respect. Maybe some honor from this man. And there was a point where she could have got it-and it has nothing to do with them breaking up or why they did. But you need some vital things to respect a person and trust in their words, deeds, and motivation is just part of it-a part that she lost. Whenever he brings up how many or the depth to which her lies have gone-she goes "Well you lied to me." Yes. He did. Once. And it was natural considering the situation. It was one thing-and it had nothing to do with the wellfare or state of the children. So if thats all you got-you need to quit that line.
So he can't trust her. But then there is aanother thing. Me. While she is the mother to half his offspring-I take credit for the other fifty percent. And on top of that-I am his WIFE. Which is where she lost any respect she could have had with me. When there I had an issue with her-I texted her. I called her. I offered to go over there. And what did she do? She ignored me. She told my husband "Get your girl."
Lemme explain something flat out. He is my husband not my father. I don't follow his command unquestioning. He is my life partner not my boss. He doesn't order me to do anything. So if you want something of me-you'll get the best results by asking me. In addition-he's not just my husband, and partner-he's my BEST FRIEND. And we tell each other everything. To tell one of us something in confidence and not expect it to be shared with the other at some point of time is foolish. And if ya don't know-now you know. And to anyone that didn't know and is now wondering if i know about???????Yes. I do. And I have for a while.
But back to the point. I am mother, lover, wife, friend, confidant, partner, nurse, and so much more in my relationship with Verlander. She has one role-BABY MOMMA. And while she may covet the level of respect and trust I recieve-she needs to address whats lacking with her own husband. And stop trying to use their children to blackmail mine into caring about her or caring less about me. I know she feels like that since they were here first-her and her kids are of a higher priority than me and mine-but thats not true. My husband will never assign a unmatching values on his love or attention or support for any of his children. He is not that kind of man. I adopt that attitude when in my house-all of the children are treated equally I do not give favor to my own over those I had no part in making. And while-to Verlander-our children will never be unequaled-her and I-will never be equals. Not even close. So her expectations are totally unreal. And thats not my fault. Not his fault. And not the fault of the kids.

(FAT) Evil Bitch

on't get me wrong. It's not that I don't have more horrible but true things to say about the greasy one. But....right now.....I'm just too sad. And it's rare that in a fight my saddness beats out my anger...but it just goes to show ya-parenthood changes you.

I just miss my babies! I just wanna hold them. I just wanna talk to them and find out everything that happened in school this week. I want to help Nina with her book report. I wanna trip over Jessie cuz she's my own personal shadow. I wanna watch them dance and listen to them sing (badly, lol). I wanna watch videos with them while they ask so many questions about the movie that I barely get to watch it. I wanna sit down to dinner and hold hands and pray with them.I just MISS them.

And I have no doubt that God has a plan in all of this. Everything will be right. I know it. But it's hard to hold on when it hurts so bad. And I do not believe that she can be allowed to cause this much pain to this many people without getting her comeuppance. It's there. It's coming for her Maybe she'll finally learn that the loss of loved ones isn't meant to foster hate and bitterness. And it does not entitle you to anything. Maybe she won't learn it tho...and then she'll always be miserable. I don't care tho-really. As long as she stops making me and mine miserable.
My baby.....she is totally innocent in any of this. She's two years old. She hasn't done anything wrong. And it kills me that this fat dirty heifer is able to make even her cry. She points and the pictures and says "Wheres my Jessie?" Thats not fair. Thats not right. And it hurts me. And it makes me mad and i just.......
I just MISS them. It's not like I've never been away from them before-but the more I have them-the more I can't NOT have them. So it's hard. And it hurts. But it will be fixed. Until then.....don't let my tears ruin the slideshow for you. They are pictures from happier times. And be assured that this broken family will be whole once again.

Torture

I'm not asking that every day be sunny
I'm not asking that there be a party every Friday
Nor do I ask you to come back begging forgiveness

If you're crying with dry eyes,
Speaking about her

Oh my love, it hurts so much
It hurts so much
That you left without saying a word
Oh my love, losing you was torture

I know I haven't been a saint
But I can make it up to you

Man doesn't live on bread alone
Nor do I live on excuses

We only learn from mistakes
And today I know my heart is yours

Better save that for yourself
Take that bone to some other dog
And let's say goodbye

I can't ask winter to spare a rose bush
I can't ask an elm tree to bear pears
I can't ask the eternal of a mere mortal
And go about casting thousands of pearls before swine

Oh my love, it hurts so much
It hurts so much
That you no longer trust my promises
Oh my love, losing you has been torture

I know I haven't been a saint
And I'm not made of stone

Man doesn't live on bread alone
Nor do I live on excuses

We only learn from our mistakes
And today I know my heart is yours

Better save that for yourself
Take that bone to some other dog
And let's say goodbye

Listen, baby, don't you go
Listen, baby, don't get angry
From Monday to Friday you have my love
Give Saturday to me and you'll be better off
Listen baby, don't punish me anymore
Without you, out there I have no peace
I'm just a repentant man
I'm the bird that returns to its nest

I know I haven't been a saint
And I'm not made of stone

Man doesn't live on bread alone Nor do I live on excuses
We only learn from our mistakes And today I know my heart is yours

Better save it for someone foolish enough to believe you and say Goodbye

Oh after all I've done for you
It was such a torture to lose you
It hurts me so that it's like this
Keep on crying sorry I...
I'm not going
To cry over you

Currently listening : Fijacion Oral vol. 1 By Shakira

BITCH ON BLAST part 54....no....part 62....wait isn't this like the MILLIONTH time i've had to

What a fantasy world you live in! The way you say that you've done nothing but "help" us. The way you say you've been nothing but "nice" to us. Is that you being nice when you call me a bitch in front of your own kids?????? I may be one and I know it but it takes one to know one and I've never called you out on it in front of them. I have that much decency. Was that you being "nice" when you TOTALLY lied to them and told them that their "real" daddy was too lazy to help you potty train them? When in all actuality you were the one complaining that it was easier to just keep them in diapers. So he did it. All by himself. And it was easy for him to do it-when he had them all the time. Cuz you felt the need to party. And let ur home-where those kids would eat and sleep and play-be a revolving door for local gangbangers....you brought those kind of people around your kids. And had the "good" (sarcasm there) sense enough to marry one of them. What kind of parent brags around her kids about how she stole so many things from her job sweeping hair at a salon(with your lovely college degree-lot of good that's doing ya now, huh?)??????? How am I supposed to discipline YOUR kids when they walk outta Target with a toy they wanted and tell me-"my mommy does it." wtf am i supposed to say?!?!?! other than-your mommy is wrong. WE DON'T DO THIS. YOU put me in that position. Where I can't help but say negative things about you to your kids! It makes me feel nasty to have to say something like that. Cuz somehow thats gotta hurt-no matter how much they wish I was their real mom-you actually are-and they have to deal with the dumb shit that you do. Like keeping them from their father. WTF are you trying to prove? Are you trying to make it appear that your lies are true? When you tell everyone "he's a deadbeat. he doesn't do anything for these kids. he doesn't buy them anything. he doesn't see them." YOU'RE A LIAR. A GODDAMNED LIAR. LET IT BE KNOWN THAT SHE.THAT WOMAN RIGHT THERE. IS A LIAR. SHE'S FAKE. SHE'S PHONY. AND SHE LIES LIKE A RUG AND SHE'S READING THIS RIGHT NOW AND SHE'S ANGRY. AND SHE'S ANGRY BECAUSE SHE'S EMBARRASSED. AND YOU KNOW WHAT-GOOD.
Good. You should be ashamed. You need to feel shame. Maybe it will stop you from doing and saying the dumb shit that you do Like referring to your daughter as "the chubby one" thats unnecessary. Just cuz you're insecure about your weight( and believe me YOU have EVERY right to be insecure about your weight) doesn't mean that you have to take it out on her.
And the only time MY husband ever bought nothing for those girls was when he was stripped down to making a hundred dollars a week b/c of the ridiculous amount of child support he has to pay your ass. And guess what else-this whole summer-when you weren't getting a dime-that was GOOD that was JUSTIFIED-cuz they were over here-JUST AS MUCH-as the were over there. And we didn't ask you for a dime either. How are we able to provide them with closets full of clothes. Jeans and sweaters, and jackets and beds and food with out asking you for a cent-but you have to go to the state to do the same thing? And guess what? All our money-IS LEGAL. We work hard for it. We don't steal. We don't run giftcard scams. And my husband is FOR DAMN SURE not running around in front of my house SERVING. What happens to those girls when ya'll get popped off? Have you thought about that? Are you that naive to think it wont happen? I know that car note is expensive. And the second mortgage. And the home equity loan. But you should never have become dependent on my HUSBAND'S check.
When you were getting five hundred dollars a month in addition to you and your husbands income and all the dumb shit you do on the side-we were struggling to feed ourselves and the baby-and I remember what you said. "Well-you knew you had two kids already-you shoulda thought of this before you had her." Which would appear to be a valid a point to only the stupidest of people because SHE'S HERE NOW. MY DAUGHTER IS HERE NOW. AND WE TOOK CARE OF HER. WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM THE GOVERNMENT OR ANYONE ELSE. Can you say the same? And you can talk all the "she's not your real sister-she's only your half sister" shit in the world you wanna talk but those girls are smater than you already. And they know better. They know that their sister has the same last name as them. And they have the same last name as their father AND me. Not yours. Or your husbands. Or your sons. Did you ever think about that? I doubt it. But they did. All by themsleves. See-they're smart. I told you.


o. and i hope your "glangs" shrivel up and fall off. God. I can't believe you have the nerve to talk shit about my age. You are damn near thirty years old. You went to college. And you don't know how to pronounce the word GLANDS. Wtf? I may only be 21 but i know that much. And you're the one who spent last winter cleaning up after peoples haircuts-you'd think you would have learned something-but no-you still send these girls over here with these raggedy uneven ass haircuts. Spend the extra 10 bucks. Take them to supercuts. For GODS SAKE. I'd send you the money myself via SDU-but I already know thats not where it would go. And you know there are people with hair cutting"habits" that would do an excellent job for FREE.
I also know-and this is important please pay attention right here cuz my baby's welfare is a t stake right, right hurr-that when your daughter says that her stomach is hurting b/c she can't go number two-giving her PEPTO is A BAD FUCKING IDEA. Pepto is for diarrhea. Pepto will make it worse. You need to get your baby some prune juice and even a childrens laxative. Cuz pepto aint gonna cut it. And do not ever hand me drugs again unless they are prescription b/c if there is something OTC that these kids need-I will take care of it. Thats what I do. It's what I know. Don't bother to question it. See thats why over here-they take vitamins EVERYDAY. not just when they get sick.Somehow they manage to avoid getting all the weird rashes and bumps they get at your house over here. They don't have to worry about seeing roaches here and hiding from rats. Nope. You actually sent me a little scabbie infestation from over there this summer. But I took care of it. Thanks for that tho.
Just grow up. Stop lying. Handle this shit like the woman your supposed to be.

Fabolousnessisty

So the girls got their hair done by their cousins stepmom-aka the awesome CARA. They looked so cute! And they loved it SO MUCH!

I think they look AMAZING. And so did they. They couldn't stop cheesing. So-of course the bm(no not "baby momma" it stand for "birth mother"-bear with me homies) had to have a problem with it. But you know what-WHATTHEFUCKEVER! cuz man-those kids LOVED it! THEY LOVED IT! Jessie just loved someone touching her hair in such a gentle fashion. She kept saying "wow-that feels so good!" iI am so happy for them and we all had such an awesome time today. I LOURVE MAH BABIES!!!!!

Mini-Me(links broken)

So if you didn't know already,

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I have this thing for "Happy Bunny". I love all "It's Happy Bunny" related items. I have, like, an actual wall in my kitchen devoted to Happy Bunny. I've been collecting them for years. In highschool I had the stickers all over my things including, my giant ass silver coat-which if it wasn't noticable already being big and silver-was COVERED in stickers. (Hey, I'm me-wtf do ya want me to do????)
I have a strong affection for one Happy Bunny graphic in particular

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that one.
As a matter of fact this is my air freshener(that my loverly Jennifer bought me)

and this is the poster on my bedroom door

Yep. I'm kinda into that phrase.

And now here(yes, I'm about to get to the point) is my baby Nina's new bookbag

Notice anything?????
Granted, it's not the EXACT same thing-but Happy Bunny was not made for children.........
But the suprise and pleasure I got from seeing that.........
Let me further explain-Nina was not with me when the bookbag was purchased-she was totally outside my sphere of influence. Totally. And we had never even discussed such things. She was with her birth mother, who probably hates me more than anyone else on the planet

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(and of course this feeling is totally reciprocal)so I had NOTHING to do with the purchase of this particular bag......except....I did. She wants to be like MOI! And I swear......you people probly don't get my glee over this but....I makes me feel sooooooooooooo good inside. I mean, Jessie, outright tells me "i wanna be just like you."
"I wanna work with medicine like you."
"I want my hair just like yours."
"When i get big, like you, I wanna lay in my bed and read a book, just like you do."
Nina doesn't come out and just say things like that......but this little thing.....this little catchphrase on a bookbag, that was picked out by her and purchased by her birth mom ........says it all. I knew she loved me. The cards, the notes, the kisses, the hugs, the fact that she chooses to call me her mom-all bespeak the love and respect she holds for me. But now.....now I know that my baby ADMIRES me. And that means soooooo much. Only a parent could know this awesome feeling.
Thanks for listening to my bragging, lol. I had to get it out. My head is so big.....I might explode.




THIS IS WHY I DO EVERYTHING!