At a loss

What do I do, what do I do......

When I first started this whole search for a home thing, I was so motivated-I didn't care where the damn house was-Indiana, Wisconsin, anywhere...and when our loan went thru I kinda slowed down like, whoa.....this thing could actually happen. I could actually be moving out south or even outta state. And I....I got cold feet. I slowed down. Stopped returning phone calls to our L.O. and all the realtors. I called myself being "too busy" but I got scared. I mean, neither me nor Van have very many friends or family. And we certainly don't spend alot of time with either. But....to be so far away...*sigh*.....I just don't know. I know we'll never be able to afford anything we can all fit into in the city, and we're quickly outgrowing where we're at now....but this is my home. I've never been anywhere else. Not even the southside of the city! I don't get out alot and I don't travel. It got to me. And now....well...I have my deposit that locked my interest rate back. Maybe I'll get my balls back sometime soon. Maybe not. We'll see.