Blonde

Yep, I'm blonde. Again. I just needed a change, I haven't been blonde since I was nineteen. And believe it or not, I would love to be nineteen forever. When I was nineteen I was pregnant with my first baby. I was never more poor. Never had less. Never had more uncomfortable, more unaccommodating surroundings, was never more hungry, never had any less than at that time. But I was so happy. So not stressed. And, I'll give you the fact that twenty-two is not old, at all. By any means, on any scale. But I've always been the youngest. Always been the baby. And I still get shit about my age. "you are so YOUNG." But I don't wany to be any older. I don't need it. For what? Maturity? I've been mature. I don't wish to be any more mature. I've been very "mature" for quite some time now. Wisdom? wtfever. With experience comes that wisdom and i've expierienced more than some more fortunate people will in a lifetime. These things bring me no comfort about being older. I wanted to be young and beautiful forever. I never even expected to live this long. I wanted a fast life and an open casket so people could remember me with this face and this body forever. But for me each year just brings another closed door. Less time to do the things I always dreamed of. I don't regret my life. Nobody can comfortably have regrets about their life, so I cannot regret mine. The choices I've made and those that have been made for me. The things I've allowed and settled for.......
anyway
nevermind all that
I'm blonde again
and I'm being carded for squares for the first time in years
OHELLYEAH
don't be hatin