Well, let's say this then

I am a stepmother.
I am neither evil nor wicked.
I do not make my stepchildren do household chores while my biochildren attend balls and parties.
I have never asked my husband to leave my stepchildren in the woods so they can be eaten by a witch.
I have never attempted to poison my stepchildren with fruit.
I love my stepchildren. I do. Truly and with all my heart.

But. I am hated, nonetheless. By their mother, by their stepfather, and by them occaisionally.
Why? I don't know. I'm not inclined to ask. It's difficult to get a straight answer out of any of the three parties mentioned above.
I'm a member of quite a few support groups, forums, and websites, enough to know that I am in the minority. Many of the forums on the sites have dozens of topics titled "I HATE MY STEPCHILDREN". Women just wanting their stepchildren to go away. Not exist. They wish the children would stay with their biomothers at all times.
I can't relate. I love my stepchildren. I want them around as much as possible. I know that during this court process that this is the part that is making their biomom give us so much trouble. If it was just Verlander that they were gonna be spending time with-she would be putting up much less of a fight. She'd be more inclined to allow the time to be fair and equitable. She doesn't want them to spend time with me. This isn't something I've conjured out of nothing. I've been informed they are not supposed even to go to the store with me unless Verlander is coming along. She doesn't want me around them.
Why?
As I said-I'm not an evil stepmother. I'm a good one and I think that is the problem. She doesn't want to lose them and she believes I mean to steal them away. The more I love them and the more they love me the more threatened she feels. In her mind Verlander could never take her place but I am a threat.
There's no way to change her mind on this. I know. But I wanted to go on record as saying that it is not an easy thing to be a stepmother. Your stepkids don't always like you, their mother never does, you're expected to immediately acdcept and feel comfortable with these children in your life, in your world, and if you don't something is wrong with YOU and if they choose not to accept you then something is ALSO wrong with YOU. But I've done it. Accepted, embraced, loved. And omg-how many posts have i read where stepmothers are crying about how they can NEVER love their stepchild as much as their biochild because of the BOND they share with their biochild through blood. I don't believe it. Not even a little bit. Being a mother is more than blood. Love is more than a genetic connection. And I treat ALL of the children the same, age-appropriate, but the same. And my love for all of them runs at the same depth.
So there.
I'm sorry Cinderella, Hansel & Gretel, and Snow White had it so bad-but I didn't do it. I'm one of the good guys.