I have no idea how V puts up with all my shit. Seriously. I haven't a CLUE.

am I seriously known as the muthafucka that talks about everyone fb????? seriously?

on da block

haaaaaaaaaaaaaate the southside

to Ver's!

droppin off da chilluns........

I am Jack's blinding fury. WHAT A WASTE!!!!

shopping with my daughters. in this modern age-how the hell are you SOLD OUT of green onions??? sigh....dance, magic, dance.

Party On, Wayne.

trade baby-blues for wide-eyed browns I sleep in your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes - I know it's strange. it's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you. I'm. Supposed. To. Love. You.

my feet hurt soooooooooo bad!

I'm alright in bed but I'm better with a pen.

just me and boba for dinner tonight.

wishing my hubby and bebez a wonderful day!

Northside doesn't mean you can't be sensible and rational and sane......you have a choice! GO SOX!!!

I'm so disguted. My whole family.....Cubs Fan's?!?!?!? And the fact that you grew up on the Northside doesn't mean ANYTHING!!! I grew up on the North Side! I turned out alright! Just because you're from the Nirthd

not sure if it was supposed to be....but Gran Torino was HILARIOUS!

Getz is a muthafuckin THIEF!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

I am Jack's insincere dissapointment.

I love jennifer's sincerity. I love vero's acceptance. I love cara's strength. I love amanda's attitude. I love jasmin's passion. I love justin's loyalty. I love eric's humor. I love shawn's perserverance. I love van's dedication. I love my friends.

I am Jack's naive sincerity.

to lose control or take control that is the question

despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind......

saved three lives today......and it's ain't even noon yet ; )

nothing like a little metro station to shake a little apocalyptic premonition anxiety.......

had horrible dreams about the end of the world last night........

shitshitshit. I should be asleep. but my legs hurt SO BADLY........I don't know what this is.......

I don't kiss girls!!!!!! Who the fuck told you that nonsense!?!?!??!<.......................................>wait.shit.

first of all....you don't slap a man!

doc, there's a hole where something was....

buzz

on my way to cara's. hating the kennedy.

anybody wanna buy a slightly used but in great condition t-mobile G1? 200 clams.......or dollars......I could go either way, really.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. ~R. Frost

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep

YO! it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. i'mma get mine so get yours. I wanna see sweat comin out your pores.

I just want to lay in the bed. Alllllllllll day. btw-cupcake 1.5 sucks donkey balls....wtf android?!?!

I like to move it, move it.

my mother got me three BOXES of used books, hardcover and paperback, for my birthday. it's like 20 fresh reads for me. this lady is really trying, God love her. and I must say...she's doing a helluva job

who's takin me out tonight?!?!?!?

it irks me when parents tell their children to do something and then end the command with "okay?" as if the child has an option is the matter. I don't care if my children are "okay" with what I've told them to do. I end mine with "understand?" so there is no confusion as to whether it is a request or not.......

jessie is getting so tall.....i'mma start knocking her in her face just off g.p.

wondering.....is 24 a good age to get married?

getting a little excited......tomorrow IS my birthday and I DO have a four day weekend to celebrate.....arrite....and today is almost over THANK YOU GOD!!!

is in no mood. seriously.

don't throw me down, clark

lighting someone else's candle makes the world a brighter place...

there's a Cosby show marathon on my birthday!!!!!!!!! Jesus loves me!!!!!!!

it's a tense day in the pharmacy....

Monday, Monday go away......

c'mon swing it!

The friendship that can cease has never been real. -Saint Jerome

Everybody say a little prayer this morning for Leslie "Heifer" Perez-Ribot this morning. I won't tell you what to pray for......but she definately needs Jesus in her life.

the heifer is not letting the kids go to church today. nice.

is awake now with barely three hours of sleep.....my damn body clock woke me up like, and now I can't get back!

is more than satisfied. more than happy. more than loved.....thank you guys.....you all are the best....and THANK YOU BABE....there really are no words!!!!!!

waitwaitwait.....too much stuff just happened too quickly right now. who said what? and now whos's mad at who? and where'd everybody go? and can somebody please bring me a burger? please?

mah babe really, REALLY loves me. I really, REALLY love you too babe! ! !

awhellnaw. you bitches knew!

can I have a little more cowbell? just a smidge though.

I shoulda been the postsecret guy. I love secrets.

I have the bebez summer camp pictures in. they are ridiculously cute. it's like some jc penny catalouge picture or something where they've been trained to just look adorable.

a burglar is robbin a house when the owners come home.he pulls out a gun and says,"now that you seen my face,im gonna have to kill you."the man and wife are shocked and scared.the theif says,"before i kill you,i wish to know both your names"the woman says,"my name is Lisa."the burglar is slightly saddened and said,"that was my girlfriends name,and she passed away.i loved her so much.i cant kill you."then he points the gun at the man,"you,whats your name?"the man says,"Dave,but my friends call me Lisa..."

so stuffed!

I call this one 'Things To Do At Wal-Mart. (1) Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. (2) Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the restroom. (3) Walk up to an employee and in an official tone tell them, "Code 3 in housewares," and see what they do. (4) Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. (5) Move the 'CAUTION-WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. (6) When a clerk ask, "Can I help you?" Cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone!"(7) Dart around the store suspiciously while humming the theme to 'Mission Impossible.' (8) Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through, yell "Pick me, Pick me!" (9) When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO, NO, not the voices again!!" And last but not least, (10) Go into a fitting room and yell, "Hey we're outta toilet paper in here!"

okey-dokey artichokey......let's do this

is full of meatballs!

does not like Betty Boop

what did the egg say to the boiling water? its gonna take me while to get hard, i just got laid by some chick.

some people see the glass as half full. some see it as half empty......me? I'm just happy I have a glass.

only a true friend will tell you when you have something on your face

Ronna, Blessed, and CL go out drinking one night.. after a long night they meet up the next day and start debating on who had been most drunk. CL starts off by saying " i think was the drunkest.. I left the bar drove home ran in the house, and blew chunks" Than Ronna says " thats nothing.. i drove out the parking lot and wrapped my car around the first tree i saw.. and i dont even have insurance" To which Blessed proclaimed "I was the drunkest.. i drove home had a fight with my boyfriend and knocked over a candle and burned the house down.." And than they all stare at each other for a minute and CL says "I dont think you girls understand..Chunks is my dog."

Three men a Japanese, a German, and a Mexican were sitting in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping noise. The German pressed his fore arm and the beeping stopped. He said that was my pager. I have a micro chip in the skin of my arm. Later a phone rang. The Japanese man raised his palm up to his ear. The others stared at him questioningly. He explained that was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand. The Mexican feeling really low tech but not to be outdone decided that he had to do something just as impressive. So he steppped out the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ass. They all raised their eyebrows and stared. The Mexican finally turns and says "ay cabron. Will you look at that. Im getting a fax."

heifers nightmare came true this evening....and it's absolutely nobodys fault....mwahahahaaha

remains unimpressed

what did one saggy tit say to another saggy tit?..... "if we dont get some support soon, people will think were nuts!"

I really, really, really don't feel good! wah!

Optimus Prime is my boyfriend.

I can now add a cough to my plethora of current ailments. dammit.

I hate,hate,hate to do it. really I do. but I had no choice. I had to use the afrin. just this once....I promise myself.

I'm just so pissed right now. I'm just so sick and tired and broke even tho it's payday...and I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE out of either nostril and I just want to go to sleep but I feel so guilty cuz it's "his" day but I've just had enough. Seriously.

rather than taking the cold medicine myself...I'm fairly certain I'd get more rest if I were to just give it to the children....hmmmmmmmmm

poor bobi has lost his voice....I hope that's not what's in store for the rest of us.....

I'm sorry we're sick on your birthday baby!!!

Dear God I hope I feel better tomorrow. and....HAPPY BIRTHDAY BBKINS! BETTER TOO EARLY THAN TOO LATE! I LOVE YOU, OLD GUY!!!!

Imagine if kevin on the wonder years had twitter. His dad and winnie would know everything. Dude. Woulda been epic.-good one P.W.

I'm sick and cranky and irritated. arg.

she said my boy I think someday. you'll find a way. to make your natural tendancies pay. Son be a dentist. You have a talent for causing thing PAIN. Son be a dentist. People will pay you to be inhumane. Your temperment's wrong for the preisthood. And teaching would suit you still less. Son be a dentist....You'll be a success.

oyeah....it's all fun n games till somebody falls and busts their face open on the doorframe.....and you get NO SYMPATHY because mommy TOLD YOU TO STOP FUCKIN RUNNIN IN THE HOUSE!

A pregnant woman lapses into a coma as she gives birth to twins. Two months later, when she awakes, she's told her brother was asked to name the boy and girl. "My idiot brother named them? Oh God, I just hope he didn't screw it up. What did he name my daughter?" she asked the doctor. "Denise," he replied. "Oh, that's not too bad. How about my son?" she asked."Denephew."

Stupid kids at the orphange didnt appreciate my yo moma jokes.

Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

do you remember the notebook in Mr. Bertenshaw's class? We used it to keep score.....but we also wrote whatever we wanted in there.....

is he a tiny man or is it a really big shoe?

what's for dinner babe?

almost thurr. thank god.

I'll remind you now as I do each week around this time..... I flucking HATE mondays!

why is it....every time van puts up a status message complaing about something or about being in a shitty mood....every1 thinks it's about me??? 99% of the time-IT'S NOT! FUCKERS!

y iz u all up in mah george foreman?

yay Brewers!

do you have any black inside you/would you like some/like some

thinks it's crazy how one can still be "in love" after 7 freakin years!

I can't stop watching BBQ-U!

my body hurts so bad!

these feelings won't go away/they been knockin me sideways/I keep thinkin in a moment that/time will take them away/but these feelings won't go away

fuck downtown, btw

things are not right

I gotta pull myself together. I'm still shaken up from the crowds at the taste. I almost had a full on panic attack. My baby girl next to me is the only reason I was able to clear my head and keep going.

chillin on the lawn in front of the field museum.

on the 66 headed downtown

I guess we goin to taste some shit.....lol

omg. I do not feel up to dealing with this fat, booty-booty, garbage-ass bitch today...I just wanna be chill.

omgwtfbbqlol

wowzers

I'm so over the "club scene". I been there did that, five years agi. done it. but I wanna hang out with my friends! I have precious little of them. but clubs are GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. for the cost of a drink-I can buy a bottle. and whatever song is supposed to be "exclusive" gimmie two minutes with firefox and everyone can have it. I don.'t have the time energy or patientce. I'm a gfown ass woman. i'mm not wait gonna wait behind 26 people for you to call my name. I'm a grade-7 emploree.

gone to soundbar wit the "fellowship of the lunch"

I don't think I'm beautiful-I think I'm beyond it...

I love The Cosby Show

I've got a lot of friends who are stars but some are just black holes......

I can't fall back to sleep

lmao is the new lol

monday's. pffffffffffffft.

beau calls all bugs "the forest"

babe. square?

I keep dreaming about my mom. Needing my mom. In my dreams she's sane and sober and she takes care of me. And protects me.....I don't know what to make of it really......

layin here. tryna fall back asleep...but I wanna go smash her FACE SO.BAD. I swear if I knew I'd get an I-bond....i'd go right now.

they are home.

now an hour and 15 minutes late

the bitch is hiding the kids. on their birthday.

beau calls the American flag a "Barack Obama"

mike pulled a tupac.

my friends-send my babies a "happy birthday" text and make them feel special and important! 470/8845(j) and 524/0064(nina)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SATURNINA DANIELLE & JESSIE TERRELLE!!

whoops. last post turned into a microblog....to be found at blogger. so sorry.

I'm sitting here realizing I'll never have MY four. Gramdawg had four. my ma had four. but there's four here already and one more would just be too much. and it's just now hitting me. in the heat and noise of the house. in the sorry state of things and the recession. she's already taken so much from me and now she takes my four. she takes my legacy. those two are mine-but they're not. I'll always have to share them and I'll always be extra. I'll always be a spare. I'll always be "ommy"(Other Mommy) rather than just plain mommy. I WANT MY FOUR. and to have MY Two BONUS BABIES. they should be MY EXTRA. instead I'm tapped and because of them....the next two can't come. it's too much. and it would be so selfish to ignore that.

is sad. and not because of mj. and def. not bcuz of farrah.

it's just been an off fuckin day....what else can you say?

is so THIRSTY on this thursday for FRIDAY!

the twins will be ELEVEN tomorrow! Holy $%*&!

hope the heat keeps the vets away again today

fuck pat quinn. illinois' unemployment is at a staggering 10%. so he cuts funding to social services. I GOTSTA GET OUTTA THIS STATE!

I'm PISSED....O SO PISSED

100 degrees?!?!?!?!?! Seriously!?

I think, perhaps, it is my way of externalizing the pain I have lived in my time here...of showing the world that which I could never speak.

(is it weird) I love every EVERY wound I get. every scratch, every burn, every cut, every bruise. I have never been appalled or disgusted by them. they have never contributed to my low self-image. if tattoos held any great interest for me....I would have one by now...but I love a new scar. my skin, my body, unblemished? who would that person be? I wouldn't know her...

I hate mondays.

whew. he just does SO MUCH. I'll be glad when his day off is over. I can't do it all myself.

I don't know a man who'd say "good-morning-head" is not an awesome Father's Day gift.

ready for sleepytown

who has two thumbs and is sexxxy?

who's sexy?

excited about taking my favorite "daddy" out this evening

heifer called jessie yesterday to ask if she was still mad at her......jessie's response, "Yup".

I love my dreams.

so close to FREEDOM!!!

I scoff at polished, cultured, practiced "Perfect". Raw, wild, natural, carnal, primal, free..........that's what catches my attention. That's effin AWEsome.

You're damn right there is. How am I the whore? You're the one who was fucking around on her husband. AND who got caught up doing it. AND got tricked off on by her own cousin. But ANYway...that's not the point. You couldn't find the point so you just started hurling insults. The point is-you're being a selfish asshole for absolutely no reason. You're not thinking of your kid-you're thinking of youself. And how you're gonna look. And how you have to throw around what little power you have left after we took it all from you in court. JOINT LEGAL custody's a bitch, ain't it? So you go ahead. Sit on your horse and relish the power you have over a ten year old girl that's sobbing in my lap right now. Who's heart is fucking BROKEN. BECAUSE OF YOU. Who do you think your hurting here? Seriously? And fuck it all. I'd rather be a whore than a horrible mother and a disgusting person.....lucky you....you get to be all three.

so really, really ready to start this weekend thing...

who wants to accompany the fam to the fest tomorrow? don't be scurrd. we do this.

this is beer weather. just sayin.

heifas call me black&decka I don't screw dem hos I drill

Ask

Almost any "real" writer......and they'll tell you.....if they wrote when they "wanted" to write......they NEVER would.
Why? All other creative professionals LOVE what they do, can't help but *want* to compulsively do it......singers....actors.....artists....musicians....but not a writer. Being able to write skillfully and creatively and compellingly is such a gift. It is so rare. So few people realize how rare. Writing is not spelling, grammar, punctuation and imagination. It's hard....sososo very hard to convey situations and emotions and atmosphere through black words on off-white paper. I almost want to scrap this post entirely. Why? Because........it's not good enough and the thought and effort it requires to make this post readable(imo) is just too much.
*sigh*Well the point is. I'm not blogging. And it has nothing to do with having nothing to say.....it's about the effort required to say it. So much is going on. I actually think I'm having a mini-nervous breakdown. Not just think......I'm fairly certain. And what better place to explore how my life has conspired against me than here. In my safe place. My blog. Free from judgmental friends and hubby and heifers and nosy nere-do-wells.......but I just can't pull this cork and let it out. Because it requires far too much effort on my part.....to think.....to write....and at this point...holding my head up and keeping my eyes open is sapping all of my strength.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??????????

husband laid off. has multiple felony convictions. cannot get good work. four kids. two under 5. two ungrateful step kids w/ crazy, corrupting mother. family, does not help. does not care. more trouble than dealing with them is worth. crazy responsibilities and unrealistic expectations placed upon me at work. never work a week of only 40 hours. binge drink. binge eat. weight problem. family history of alcoholism. depression. mania. add. bi-polar disorder. schizophrenia. diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder with sociopathic tendencies at 17. Not yet 24 years old and cannot cry out for help. to many people judging.people have been watching me keep these balls in the air for years. waiting for me to drop one. waiting for one flaw. one crack. so they can exploit it. i tell everyone i'm not perfect. all the time. nobody believes me. ever. they have to see it. have to watch me fall face first into a pile of my own shit. i'm tired of keeping up appearances. is it really worth it? somebody help me. please.

awww :))