Please, indulge me for a moment...on the subject of marriage

I was talking with a friend earlier this morning, the subject being his pending divorce and what led to the eventual demise of his twelve year marriage. And I was musing n the subject and our conversation just now, and I remember one comment of mine referring to his wife and how selfish she seemed. Selfish. And that led me to a conclusion about marriage and divorce and the basis of relationships in our time and country.
Studies have shown that most divorces are initiated by women and the most (by FAR) reason cited is not feeling fulfilled EMOTIONALLY. A man's reason is more likely that he has another relationship he'd more desire to pursue. But the reasons come back to basically the same thing. Selfishness.
Allow me to propose a reason for the high divorce rate we have in America today. Selfishness. We get married for OURSELVES. For whatever reason-we feel we need that. However, arranged marriage has a much higher success rate. Why? Well-I believe arranged marriage is in the interest f a purpose. Continuing a family line, the purpose of starting, creating and nurturing a family. Your role is to support and compliment that of your partner. Nothing more. But absolutely nothing less.
I believe, truly successful relationships are those in which you are acting selflessly. In the best interest of your spouse and your children, before your own.I can use my own for reference. Van and I truly want to make one another happy, comfortable, and proud. That is the foundation for the wonderful relationship we have. What problems we may have had have stemmed ultimately from selfishness.
If we we were to truly put our spouse (note the absence of the phase "loved one" because love really is such a truly fleeting, crazy, SELFISH emotion. Yes-it is-being in love stimulates endorphins in our brain and makes us FEEL GOOD and that is why we pursue it with such reckless abandon)before ourselves and take care of one another rather than being all out for self and our emotional or sexual fulfillment ALL of the damn time-our relationships would last. If we saw the need for our children to grow up in a household with two responsible, loving, nurturing adults in them and recognized the importance of such comforts to a child-our relationships would last.
This is merely a personal opinion. But it is something I truly believe in and I am no dummy. I can't seek to solve the insane divorce rate in this county and I can't speak for those among us who truly are FUCKED UP in the head and can't reciprocate our selflessness-I can say the do truly Need someone to take care of them tho.
All I'm saying is. Don't think about YOU. It's not about you. And if it is-it shouldn't be. Think about making the person you love and have chosen to be partners in this life with, happy. And if they can reciprocate it-then you'll both be happy. All of the time. Without being selfish. And you will last forever.