Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
bloggin...waitin...bloggin
We're celebrating tonight, cuz it was a crazy weekend. Dinner, a movie, and hella alcohol. Toasts to our blessings and good fortune.
Life is SO good right now. I can't even believe it. It's just all so amazing and kinda scary-cuz it can't keep getting better right? I mean-I believe in checks and balances and I believe that in life for every AMAZING period of time you have-there's going to be an equally AWFUL period of time........It's just.....balance, you know?
So thats why the AWESOMENESS of this period of time is a little alarming. It's like, can it really be this good?
FUCK
I mean-me and Van are at our finest. HE's amazing and wonderful and thoughtful and helpful and this friday I discovered as much as I brag on him-he brags just as much about me. I'm so in love with him, even after 6 years, and our relationship is just in really, really, good shape-inspite of everything we've been thru and because of it.
Trin is effing brilliant. She is so articulate and funny and polite and concerned. And watching her and her brother, two people that I created, interact is almost mind-blowing at times. They are so in love with each other. They just walk up to each other and hold each other sometimes. Or they lay together on the floor in complete silnce and suck their thumbs and enjoy one anothers prescence. He has a cut on his forehead and as I changed his bandage today she said "Thank you mommy. Thank you for taking care of my brudder." Yeah, I think that pretty much says it all.
And of course- court. It's finally done, and I have dreamed of this many, many times over the past 15 months-and now it's real. It's over, and without winning the lottery and hiring a team of expert, hungry-ass lawyers, or the heifer getting killed in some random tragic accident-we came out ON TOP. It's surreal. And now on TOP of it all-she's being all sweet and cooperative. And i'm sure it's all an act and it's just because she needs van's cooperation for the kids to participate in her brothers wedding, but after all this time of hostility and hatred and SILENCE-to hear her chatting it up and being responsive and collaberative-it's kind of unnerving. I won't allow myself to hate her-God has allowed me to escape that-and I'm fighting to maintain it. But I do have to put in perspective-that she lied and tried to have Van thrown in jail, that she made the children feel horrible for loving me and van and their home here, that she placed such emphasis on Trinity being only their HALF sister, that she refused to talk, to try and work ANYTHING out for 15 fucking months because she thought she could limit our time with them to every other weekend, and never let us pick them up from school, and prevent Van from getting his joint legal custody barring him from any desicions about his childrens lives. And all those delusions are now GONE-cuz theres a court order to the contrary.
*sigh*
Shit is good. Even more good shit has not been mentioned-but Van has completed his shower and our night of celebration has commenced.
But, wow, my friends......
Life is so GOOD.
dammitdammitdammit
seriously.
the boy keeps injuring himself!
he's learning to walk, last week it was a black eye-today he cracked his forehead open!
my poor little boy, he want's to go so fast. he wants to follow mommy everywhere, and he wants to keep up with his big sisters every hop, skip, and jump.
he seems fine, but seeing him banged up is KILLING ME. i can't take him outta the house! i have enough problems with that as it is! last month i was at the bank and these cops kept staring at him-then at me-then at him, then they interrogate me and trin like we're an amber alert waiting to happen
"is this your mommy?"
"is this your little brother?"
"how old are you?"
"how old is your brother?"
"where's your daddy?"
and to me
"who'd he get those eyes from?"
me-i dunno
"well he got them from somebody"
me-i guess his grandmother or my grandfather or something
I wanted to scream-WHAT THE FUCK!
It's MY baby. And i may be medium toned but-i happen to like light skinned men. Is that ANYONES business? No. I'm sick of people asking me whose baby he is. He's mine. I was there. I'm absolutely certain. Just because he's fair-skinned with blue eyes everybody wants to question where I got him.
I DIDN'T STEAL THE FUCKING BABY.
Grrr, and to take him out all banged up-shit-I'm asking for it. I'm too busy too be locked up waiting for my fucking i-bond to process. I got bills to pay and babies to feed.
Stop falling boy! Why won't you just be still and let mommy cuddle you! It's much less painful! And you're too pretty to be all scarred up!
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Please Help
My friends, please go to politico.com where you can vote on question to be asked during the Jan 31 debate. Among the thousands of other questions-there is one about Father's Rights and the preservation of the American Family. My family's battle against the biased Family Court system recently ended in our favor and I'm absolutely delighted, however I cannot just quit Father Advocacy after all I've learned throughout our long, hard journey.
Fathers and Mothers and children of divorce need to be heard in this country, and when they say-I still want to see BOTH of my parents the judge needs to LISTEN and not stick to "four days a month and two weeks in the summer" standardized BULLSHIT.
The question reads as follows:
"Fatherlessness is a huge issue in our country. It results in higher rates of teen violence, higher rates of drug and alcohol use, higher rates of suicide and higher health care utilization. If you become President would you work to change this by supporting a Family Rights act that has at its premise a Presumption of Equal Shared Parenting for fit parents in the event of separation and divorce? Do you believe that kids benefit from equal time with both their mom and their dad?"
Click the link to :"Vote for this question" And we have a chance to actually hears how the candidates feel about fathers' involvement in the life of their children.
If you're having trouble finding the question, sort the questions by "Topics", then go to page 103-under the topic social issues and scroll down until you get to it.
Vote Now!!
Thank you so much,
Ash
Thursday, January 24, 2008
thinking of my babe-HEY YOU
i'd.
like.
to be...
the owner of the zipper on your jeans/and that thing that makes you happy
i'd.
like.
to be...
the beginning the end and the inbetween/ and be your slave/and be your queen......
i'd like to be the first white hair upon your head/to be your cherry pie/your daily bread/i'll cook for free/i'll make your bed/i'll write down all the things you've thought and never said
i'd.
like .
to be...
the only thing on earth that makes you cry/the only thing that makes you happy
soon.
you.
will see...
that noone else but me can take you this high/and soon you'll make your last name mine...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD(lol-just for you,babe!)
WE'RE FINALLY DONE!
AFTER 15 LONG, ARDUOUS MONTHS OF WORRYING, WAITING, PRAYING, AND HOPING-COURT IS OVER!
And i'm so happppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
it's perfect-o-it's so perfect!
God is goOd, and even tho the lawyers kept pushing this "worst-case scenario" on us and urging us to give in and settle we held strong and fast because we knew WE were right. We knew God would take care of us because we were good. And we did everything right. We compromised. We gave her so many chances to work it out and talk things out peacefully and thats why the bitchface heifer was left in tears in courtroom after the judge admonished her and set the schedule.
Now we get plenty of time that she can't take away, ever, just because she's in a bad mood and wants someone to kiss her ass-she can't use the kids anymore! And we get tons of holidays and vacation time!
mmmmmm. I'm so HAPPY!
it's OVER!
no more court dates. no more wondering. no more nothing. it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things"
.......
YAY US!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Babysitter throws tot off Honolulu overpass
A man who allegedly threw a boy off a pedestrian freeway overpass yesterday was occasionally asked to care for the toddler and recently had been sent for psychiatric evaluation, police said.
Matthew M. Higa, a 23-year-old Roosevelt High School graduate, was arrested yesterday in connection with the death of the boy.
Higa allegedly dropped the toddler 30 feet from the Miller Street overpass onto H-1 Freeway at about 11:40 a.m. where one or two west-bound cars struck the boy. The toddler was pronounced dead at the scene at 12:07 p.m. The medical examiner did not release the name of the child.
Police interviewed the boy's mother and her boyfriend last night. Police were trying to determine how Higa got the boy.
The mother said she had left the boy with her father, who was sleeping in their apartment. Her boyfriend was also in the apartment, she said. She said she went to Ala Moana.
Police said the toddler had wandered off and was returned to the apartment earlier in the day.
Higa and the boy's family lived in the same apartment building, said a neighbor who asked not to be identified. The neighbor said the mother's boyfriend often took the toddler upstairs to Higa's apartment.
The neighbor said Higa often displayed odd behavior. He walked up and down the stairs all night and would scream at 3 a.m., the neighbor said. He would sit on the ground in the garage during the daytime, the neighbor said.
Police said Higa had been a patient at The Queen's Medical Center's psychiatric ward as recently as Dec. 11.
Police said Higa occasionally watched the child, but apparently was not related to him. Police did not say where the child lived.
SMOKED A CIGARETTE
Kraig Hengst was working in an apartment garage across the street from the pedestrian overpass where the boy was thrown and saw a man "toss the baby" into traffic about 11:40 a.m. Hengst said he had seen the same man moments earlier walking in the area near the overpass, but it's unclear which direction he came from.
"I saw the baby high in the air. I thought it was a doll at first," said Hengst, visibly shaken. Hengst, 19, said Higa was holding the child on the overpass in one arm. Then, he "tossed it into the air." At least one vehicle hit the toddler, who landed in the far right lane.
Police closed all west-bound lanes of H-1 from the Kapi'olani Boulevard off-ramp to the Pali Highway off-ramp for nearly five hours to investigate, setting off traffic jams on thoroughfares and side streets alike.
The freeway was reopened about 4:30 p.m.
After the boy was thrown, witnesses said they saw the man walking calmly away toward Prospect Street, smoking a cigarette. When he was out of sight, Hengst and a few friends went to the pedestrian overpass to see what had been thrown.
When they realized it was a child, they followed the man on foot and on a bike and called police, giving officers a description of the man and leading them to the suspect, who was found hiding in some bushes near 513 Prospect St. He was taken into custody at 12:15 p.m. for investigation of second-degree murder.
SUSPECT BELLIGERENT
Higa was taken to the main police station but was sent to Queen's psychiatric ward before he could be booked after becoming belligerent.
He was still at Queen's late yesterday afternoon. Higa has four outstanding misdemeanor traffic warrants totalling $2,800. Records show he has 12 prior arrests, but no convictions.
Higa was involved in an Aug. 15, 2004 negligent homicide investigation in connection with the suspected racing death of Andrew Hansen, 20.
Hansen was driving one of three cars apparently racing on H-1 that Sunday morning when he was killed in a wreck near the Alexander Street on-ramp.
Higa was driving a 2001 Acura. He was questioned at a Henry Street location as part of a third-degree negligent homicide investigation, but charges were declined, according to police.
The third car involved fled the scene.
Witnesses yesterday said Higa was quiet when he was arrested. But after a few minutes, while sitting on the road with handcuffs on, he started yelling loudly. "Thank you for everything you have done for my family," Higa said, repeatedly.
'GUY WAS MESSED UP'
Sam Durham, 20, said he saw a man throw the child from the overpass, then walk away, in no hurry to flee the scene.
"He was just walking," Durham said. "He wasn't running."
Durham also said the man had a "thousand-yard stare."
"The guy was messed up," Durham said.
Police did not release details on where Higa was before the death.
But his hospital garments — a teal short-sleeve top and matching shorts — led to questions about whether he had been at a medical facility.
The Queen's Medical Center, the nearest facility with a mental health wing, would not say whether Higa had been a patient previously or had been at the hospital yesterday.
Queen's spokeswoman Rebecca Pollard said in a statement yesterday that the hospital did not have any missing patients. She also said that, "We have not and do not discharge any patients in a clinically unstable condition."
But while Higa apparently was not missing from the hospital yesterday, police said he had been a patient there before and had been admitted as recently as Dec. 11, 2007, after an incident at a Honolulu car dealership in which he locked himself in a car and refused to get out until officers were called to the scene.
Higa was not arrested for an offense but was sent to Queen's for psychiatric evaluation.
Yesterday, Higa indicated to police that he was recently released from Queen's.
Queen's spokeswoman Nicole Pickens said she could not comment on Higa's history as a mental patient at the facility even if police confirmed he had been taken there and provided specific dates. Pickens also declined to say whether Higa was wearing clothes similar to those worn by mental patients in the hospital.
Capt. Frank Fujii, spokesman for the Honolulu Police Department, also declined to comment on whether Higa had been hospitalized recently or where he came from.
Higa graduated from Roosevelt High in 2003.
A classmate said she remembered him as "quiet and weird."
Staff writers Robbie Dingeman and Rod Ohira contributed to this report.
.. SHIRTTAIL -->.. TAGLINE -->Reach Mary Vorsino at mvorsino@honoluluadvertiser.com.
..-- Footnote -->.. LIST NON-EMBEDDED ASSETS AT THE BOTTOM --> .. Get extension and store in variable --> .. Check for "_b" in the file name --> .. Get extension and store in variable --> .. Check for "_b" in the file name --> .. If it's a gif or jpg then show it -->• • •
Saturday, January 19, 2008
o-she just bein ashley : )~~~~
Yes. I am listening (and enjoying) Miley Cyrus right now.
you may be asking "who???" if you don't have any girls in the 7-13 age range in your immediate family.
HANNAH MONTANA
ringing any bells now?
yes.
and i don't just like it- i like it alot. so much, in fact, that Miley Cyrus has me chanting a phrase I don't think anyone else could have gotten me to say ever, under any circumstances.
"my best friend leslie said...."
yep. it's part of the damn song that i can't get outta my head. i can't stop singing it.
it's that surrious.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
hate me
if i feel i've genuinely fucked up i can absolutely apologize and attempt to atone for it and honestly-I WANT TO. I need to cleanse my soul of any awfulness committed without first listening to my conscience. Unfortunately passion has no conscience, so emotions must be checked as often as possible.
anywho, i just needed to say that being hated be so many-even by people nearest and dearest to my heart, changes NOTHING. I know who I am and what I want. I don't want to cause problems just gimmie what I came for, lol. Nothing is going to change who I am what I stand for, what I want outta this life, my morals, or my values. Hating me won't stop my contempt for you. And hating me won't change my love for you. You hating me changes nothing.
Thats it.
i'm tired.
Friday, January 11, 2008
bitch
 |
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
SHE
"She is an aggressor and she picks fights with opponents who have been duped into believing she is a friend or a lover. Once she befriends her victims, she relies on their reasonableness to forgive her transgressions. However, most of her actions are hidden, because she has learned to fight with invisible weapons and wields them with the deadliness and accuracy of a samurai warrior. Invariably, you don't see anything until the fight is over and she has won.
"She is capable of being furious if she is ignored or is not given what she wants. She has mastered the art of expressing an opinion so forcibly and convincingly that it takes on the appearance of being a fact.
"Her regular tantrums involve swearing, shouting, intimidation and threatens. She will wear people down until, for a quieter life, they agree with her. Interestingly, what she threatens to inflict on others is what she would find most damaging and hurtful to herself. Equally interestingly, she feels criticism and humiliation intensely, even if none is intended or given, and she will fight ferociously to defend what she sees as an attack, whether or not there is one. Sometimes she will create a threat in her mind merely to defend and excuse what she knows to be her own dreadful behavior.
"She will expect you to keep quiet about her conduct towards you, assuming you will feel shame or embarrassment because you tolerate it. If you collude by maintaining your silence, it perpetuates her behavior. She needs her victims to stay quiet about her. Beware of allowing yourself to get sucked into this game. She'll take delight in knocking you down a peg or two - for your own good, of course!
"This attitude demonstrates a lack of concern for other people's wishes, welfare and rights, and she matter-of-factly shows a blatant disregard for society's rules, regulations and laws. A petty but common example of this is her blasé attitude towards parking her car. Parking restrictions simply don't apply to her and parking tickets are stuffed in the glove compartment to be forgotten and left unpaid.
"Parking fines are not the only unpaid bills that mount up. When the bailiffs call she spins her sob story and plays the victim. Yet the moment they have been persuaded to leave she feels nothing more than contempt for those to whom she owes money. Her definition of a personal loan is often more like a donation; so don't expect to see your cash again. Don't ever open a joint bank account with her. She defaults on formal loans, and will almost certainly have a poor credit rating. She may even have stacks of County Court Judgments (CCJs) against her.
"She routinely fails to honor other promises and commitments. The consequences of her behavior are always somebody else's problem, not hers. She is never to blame for anything and is highly likely to be one of life's complainers. Because she's out to control, she manipulates and punishes at will. She is the witness, the judge, the lawyer, the jury, the executioner - but never the accused.
"She may believe that antisocial behavior is justified because of her 'difficult' circumstances, even though she may have contributed to them. She will break the rules without a second thought, if the end justifies the means..."
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
i have the answer
And when her head pops off and her neck is full of all those wires and electrodes-don't say i didn't tell ya.
cuz i told ya so
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Spider-dad, Spider-dad, does whatever a spider-dad needs to do to see his child....
The website is Spiderman Dad.com
Check it out. And here's his story:
For many of my readers, the Christmas holiday is not a joyous one, but instead a time of incomparable sadness. Many, many fathers have been driven out of their children's lives, or to the edge of them. For them, the holidays are more a time to grieve than a time to celebrate.
These men are the victims of one of the worst tyrannies in our society's history, and one largely unheard of before the modern era--the tyranny of being denied the right to play a meaningful role in the lives of one's own children.
It is also during this time of year that I think of the heroism of so many modern fathers. In the era of the so-called "deadbeat dad," hundreds of thousands of men have fought long, hard, costly battles to remain fathers to their children. This struggle, this heroism, goes almost completely unrecognized in our popular culture.
There is one man who above all others for me symbolizes this heroism--David Chick.
The mayor of London compared Chick to Osama bin Laden. He was dubbed a "menace" holding a city for "ransom," as well as a lunatic and an extremist.
What did this middle-aged window washer do to arouse such anger? He loves his little daughter, from whom he was forcibly and unjustly separated, and he had the courage to do something about it.
Chick launched a world famous, traffic snarling, six day, one-man protest atop a 150 foot high crane near the Tower Bridge in London in November 2003. Dressed as Spiderman because that is his little daughter's favorite comic book character, Chick had been to court 25 times and spent the equivalent of $30,000 in unsuccessful attempts to get English courts to enforce his visitation rights.
Chick explained:
"[My daughter] is the most precious thing in my world. I was there for the scans when she was still in the womb. I was there for her birth. I fed her, bathed her, got up in the night with her, cuddled her when she cried.
"Now I'm just another statistic--another dad who has no part in his daughter's life. For me, it is a living bereavement."
Facing a prison sentence for his protest, Chick was acquitted by an English jury, some of whom were reportedly moved to tears by his testimony. In 2003, Chick came in second in the Evening Standard London Personality of the Year contest and was the runner-up Political Personality of the Year on a major English television station.
In September 2004, Spiderman struck again, climbing the London Eye (pictured), an enormous 450-foot-high Ferris wheel on the banks of the River Thames. Chick spent 18 hours there--one hour for every month that had passed since he had been able to see his little daughter. Nearly 20,000 people were prevented from visiting the attraction because the police closed it down during the protest.
Popular still, a London jury again acquitted Chick of causing a public nuisance. Moreover, Chick was able to successfully fight his way back into his little daughter's life
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